Ginx's Baby: His Birth and Other Misfortunes; a SatireJenkins, Edward
General
Ginx's Baby: His Birth and Other Misfortunes; a Satire
Jenkins, Edward
Christian sects -- Fiction; Education -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction; Satire, English
The Secretary was an old hand at these meetings. He planned to import
into this one a sensation. Ginx's Baby, brought from the convent,
stripped of his papal swathings and enveloped in a handsome outfit
presented by an amiable Protestant Duchess, was placed in a cradle with
his head resting on a Bible. I am afraid he was quite as uncomfortable
as he had ever been at the convent. When, at the conclusion of the
chairman's speech, in which he informed the audience of their triumph,
this exhibition was deftly introduced upon the platform, the huzzas, and
clappings, and waving of handkerchiefs were such as even that place had
never seen. The child was astounded into quietness.
Mr. Trumpeter took the chair--believed by many to be, next to the Queen,
the most powerful defender of the faith in the three kingdoms. I never
could understand why the newspapers reported his speeches--I cannot.
When he had done, Lord Evergood, “a popular, practical peer, of sound
Protestant principles,” as the Daily Banner alliteratively termed him
next morning, rose to move the first resolution, already cut and dried
by the committee--
“That the infant so happily rescued from the incubus of a delusive
superstition, should be remitted to the care of the Church Widows' and
Orphans' Augmentation Society, and should be supported by voluntary
contributions.”
Before Lord Evergood could say a word murmurs arose in every part of
the hall. He was a mild, gentlemanly Christian, without guile, and the
opposition both surprised and frightened him. He uttered a few sentences
in approval of his proposition and sat down.
An individual in the gallery shouted--“Sir! I rise to move an
amendment!”
Cheers, and cries of “Order! order! Sit down!” &c.
The Chairman, with great blandness, said: “The gentleman is out of
order; the resolution has not yet been seconded. I call upon the Rev.
Mr. Valpy to second the resolution.”
Mr. Valpy, incumbent of St. Swithin's-within, insisted on speaking, but
what he said was known only to himself. When he had finished there was
an extraordinary commotion. On the platform many ministers and laymen
jumped to their feet; in the hall at least a hundred aspirants for a
hearing raised themselves on benches or the convenient backs of friends.
The Chairman shouted, “Order! ORDER, gentlemen! This is a great
occasion; let us show unanimity!”
There seemed to be an unanimous desire to speak. Amid cheers, cries
for order, and Kentish fire, you could hear the Rev. Mark Slowboy,
Independent, the Rev. Hugh Quickly, Wesleyan, the Rev. Bereciah Calvin,
Presbyterian, the Rev. Ezekiel Cutwater, Baptist, calling to the chair.
A lull ensued, of which advantage was taken by Mr. Stentor, a well-known
Hyde Park orator, who bellowed from a friend's shoulders in the pit,
“Mr. Chairman, hear ME!” an appeal that was followed by roars of
laughter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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