Ginx's Baby: His Birth and Other Misfortunes; a Satire — John Shaqi
Ginx's Baby: His Birth and Other Misfortunes; a SatireJenkins, Edward
General
Ginx's Baby: His Birth and Other Misfortunes; a Satire
Jenkins, Edward
Christian sects -- Fiction; Education -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction; Satire, English
“Gentlemen, as at present advised I am of opinion that the parish in
which the child was found is bound to maintain him. If Mr. Doll (a
highly respectable person, my own cheesemonger) found the child beyond
the boundaries of St. Simon Magus--and he will of course swear that he
did--you cannot refuse to take it in. However, I had better ascertain
the facts from Mr. Doll and take the opinion of counsel. Meanwhile we
must beware not to compromise ourselves by admitting anything, or doing
anything equivalent to an admission. Let me see--Ah!--yes--a notice to
be served on the other parish repudiating the infant; another notice
to Mr. Doll to take it away, and that it remains here at his risk and
expense--you see, gentlemen, we could hardly venture to return it to
Mr. Doll; we should create an unhappy impression in the minds of the
public--”
“D--n the public!” said Mr. Stink.
“Quite so, my dear sir,” said Mr. Phillpotts, smiling, “quite so, but
that is not a legal or in fact practicable mode of discarding them; we
must act with public opinion, I fear. Then, to resume, thirdly and to be
strictly safe, we must serve a notice on the infant and all whom it may
concern. I think I'll draft it at once.”
In a few minutes the committee in charge pinned to the only garment of
Ginx's Baby a paper in the following form:--
PARISH OF ST. BARTIMEUS.
To ---- ---- (name unknown), a Foundling, and all other persons
interested in the said Foundling.
TAKE NOTICE
That you, or either of you, have no just or lawful claim to have you
or the said infant chargeable on the said Parish. And this is to notify
that you, the said infant, are retained in the workhouse of the said
Parish under protest, and that whatsoever is or may be done or provided
for you is at the proper charge of you, and all such persons as are and
were by law bound to maintain and keep the same.
WINKLE & PHILLPOTTS,
Solicitors for the Board.
III.--“The World is my Parish.”
When Mr. Phillpotts called upon Doll, the cheesemonger, the latter
straightway gave him the facts as they had occurred. He pointed out
the exact spot on which the bundle had lain; he gave an estimate of the
number of inches on each side of the line occupied by it, and declared
that the head and shoulders of the infant lay in the parish of the
solicitor's clients. Ginx's Baby, under the title “Re a Foundling,” was
once more submitted for the opinion of counsel. They advised the Board
that as the child was in both parishes when found, but had been taken
up by a ratepayer of St. Simon Magus, the latter parish was bound to
support him. Whereupon the Guardians of St. Bartimeus at their next
meeting resolved that the Vestry of the other parish should have a
written notice to remove the child, failing which application should be
made to the Queen's Bench for a mandamus to compel them to do it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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