Godolphin, Volume 2.Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
Godolphin, Volume 2.
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
All this, which, in the flush and heyday of youth, and gaiety, and
loveliness, would have been unnoticed by other women, rankled deep in the
mind of Constance Vernon. The image of her dying father, his complaints,
his accusations (the justice of which she never for an instant
questioned), rose up before her in the brightest hours of the dance and
the revel. She was not one of those women whose meek and gentle nature
would fly what wounds them: Constance had resolved to conquer. Despising
glitter and gaiety, and show, she burned, she thirsted for power--a power
which could retaliate the insults she fancied she had received, and should
turn condescension into homage. This object, which every casual word,
every heedless glance from another, fixed deeper and deeper in her heart,
took a sort of sanctity from the associations with which she linked
it--her father's memory and his dying breath.
At this moment in which we have portrayed her, all these restless, and
sore, and haughty feelings were busy within; but they were combated, even
while the more fiercely aroused, by one soft and tender thought--the image
of Godolphin--of Godolphin, the spendthrift heir of a broken fortune and a
fallen house. She felt too deeply that she loved him; and, ignorant of
his worldlier qualities, imagined that he loved her with all the devotion
of that romance, and the ardour of that genius, which appeared to her to
compose his character. But this persuasion gave her now no delightful
emotion. Convinced that she ought to reject him, his image only coloured
with sadness those objects and that ambition which she had hitherto
regarded with an exulting pride. She was not less bent on the lofty ends
of her destiny; but the glory and the illusion had fallen from them. She
had taken an insight into futurity, and felt, that to enjoy power was to
lose happiness. Yet, with this full conviction, she forsook the happiness
and clung to the power. Alas! for our best and wisest theories, our
problems, our systems, our philosophy! Human beings will never cease to
mistake the means for the end; and, despite the dogmas of sages, our
conduct does not depend on our convictions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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