Goethe and Schiller: An Historical RomanceMühlbach, L. (Luise)
General
Goethe and Schiller: An Historical Romance
Mühlbach, L. (Luise)
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von, 1749-1832 -- Fiction; Schiller, Friedrich, 1759-1805 -- Fiction
"My father was right," he cried, in his rage. "I am an inflated
fool, who over-estimates himself, and boasts of great prospects and
expectations which are never to be realized! Why did I not listen
to his wise counsel? why did I not remain the regimental surgeon,
and crouch submissively at the feet of my tyrant? Why was I such a
simpleton as to desire to do any thing better than apply plasters! I
imagined myself invited to the table of the gods, whereas I am only
worthy to stand as a lackey at the table of my Duke, and eat the hard
crust of duty and subserviency! She laughed! Laughed at my poem! All
these words, these thoughts that had blossomed up from the depths of my
heart; all these forms to whom I had given spirit of my spirit, life of
my life: all this had no other effect than to excite laughter--laughter
over my tragedy! Oh, Charlotte, Charlotte, why have you done this?"
And he again thrust his hands violently into his hair, and sank
groaning into his chair.
"I am unhappy, very unhappy! I believed I could conquer a world, and
have not yet conquered a single human heart! I hoped to acquire honor,
renown, and a competency by the creative power of my talents, and
am but a poor, nameless man, tormented by creditors, by misery, and
want, who must at last admit that he placed a false estimate on his
abilities. Truly I am unhappy, very unhappy! Entirely alone; none who
loves or understands me!"
Deep sighs escaped his breast, and tears stood in the eyes that looked
up reproachfully toward heaven.
As he lowered his eyes, he looked toward the writing-table--the
writing-table at which he had spent so many hours of the night in hard
work; at which he had written, thought, and suffered so much.
"In vain, all in vain! Nothing but illusion and disappointment! If what
I have written with my heart's blood excites laughter, I am no poet, am
not one of the anointed! It were better I had copied deeds and written
recipes, instead of tragedies, for a living, and--"
He ceased speaking as he observed a letter and package, which the
carrier had brought and deposited on his table during his absence.
A simple letter would have excited no pleasure or curiosity; yes,
would even have filled him with consternation, for the letters he
was in the habit of receiving only caused humiliation and pain. They
were either from dunning creditors, from his angry father, or from
theatre-managers, rejecting his "Fiesco," as useless, and not adapted
to the stage.
But beside this letter lay a package; and the letter which Schiller now
took from the table bore the postmark Leipsic. From Leipsic! Who could
write to him? who could send him a package from that city? Who had ever
sent him any thing but rejected manuscripts and theatrical pieces?
"Ah, that was it!" He had also sent his "Fiesco" to the director of
the theatre at Leipsic, and this gentleman had now returned it with a
polite letter of refusal. Of course, it could be nothing else!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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