Graham's Magazine, Vol. XIX, No. 1, July 1841 — John Shaqi
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XIX, No. 1, July 1841Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XIX, No. 1, July 1841
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
Oh! how Mary wept his departure! A thousand times she was on the point
of writing to recall him, but her pride as often prevented the act. She
hoped he might yet return. Surely—she said—he who had once loved her
so deeply, and who must have known that his affection was returned,
would not leave her forever. Hour after hour she would sit watching the
gate for his return, and hour after hour she experienced all the
bitterness of disappointment. When, at length, she read in the newspaper
that he had really sailed, she gave one long, loud shriek, and fell
senseless to the floor. A fever, that ensued, brought her to the very
brink of the grave.
Ashton went forth upon the world an altered, almost a misanthropic man.
His hopes were withered: his first dream of love had vanished: he felt
as if there was nothing for him to live for in this world. His mind
became almost diseased. He loathed society, then he veered to the other
extreme, and craved after excitement. He sought relief in travel. He
crossed the steppes of Tartary—he traversed the deserts of Arabia—he
lived among the weird and ruined monuments of Egypt,—and for years he
wandered, a stranger to civilization, seeking only one thing—_to
forget_. He never inquired after America. His family were all dead, and
he wished never to think of Mary. Like the fabled victim, in the olden
legend, he spent years in the vain search after that Lethe whose waters
are reserved for death alone. He found it not.
And Mary, too, was changed. She rose from that bed of sickness an
altered being. Never had she known the full depth of her affection until
the moment when she found herself deserted. The shock almost destroyed
her; and though she recovered after a long and weary sickness, it was to
discard all her old habits, and to assume a quieter—yet, oh! how far
more beautiful demeanor than in her days of unmitigated joy. She felt
that Henry was lost to her forever, yet she derived a melancholy
pleasure in living as if the eye of her absent lover was upon her. She
directed her whole conduct so as to meet his approbation. Alas! he was
far away: she had not heard from him for years; perhaps, too, he might
be no more; then why this constant reference of all she did to his
standard of excellence? It was her deep abiding love which did it all.
Four years had passed when Ashton found himself again in America, and
sitting, after dinner, with one of his most intimate friends, at the
table of the —— hotel. For some time the bottle passed in silence. At
length his companion spoke.
“You have not seen Mary Derwentwater yet—have you, Harry?”
Ashton answered calmly, with a forced effort, in the negative.
“You must not positively delay it. Do you know how beautiful she has
grown?—far more beautiful than when you went away, although then you
thought her surpassingly lovely.” He paused.
“I have not heard from the family for years,” said Ashton at length,
feeling that his companion expected some reply.
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