Graham's Magazine, Vol. XL, No. 2, February 1852Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XL, No. 2, February 1852
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
In farm-houses midst pleasant valleys, in log-cabins which dot clearings
midst western prairies, even in the unsubstantial tents of seekers in El
Dorado, they turn to its pages for amusement, moral cultivation and
instruction. These demands have been often attended to, though perhaps a
trifle too gravely. The time has at length come, when the growing public
taste bids us prepare to have a little fun. Human folly is the best and
most natural subject for human ridicule. To laugh with the manes of the
Jolly old Grecian philosopher, is more agreeable than to snivel with the
lugubrious ghost of his weeping rival. We therefore must needs have a
hearty guffaw together, and as the most appropriate subject for mirth,
suppose we select that incarnation of vapid creation, but that idol of
self-esteem—a City Dandy.
The assertion made by the ancient sage Socrates, that “a dandy is like a
jackass, because he wears his Sunday-coat every day,” would scarcely fit
a modern exquisite, whose diurnal attire varies with each revolution of
the sun. The apothegm of Plato, that “a monkey owes his distinction to
his tail and a fop to his tailor,” is not thoroughly apt, because the
human ape owes something (generally a considerable sum) to his hatter
and boot-maker. The well-known assertion of Virgil, “_in squirtibus
nihil sed aquæ lactissimus_”—in squirts you will find nothing but milk
and water—has about it the usual license taken by poets, inasmuch as if
we examine _our_ squirts, they will be pronounced empty. Bacon’s
celebrated maxim in his Novum Organum, that “what are considered petty
matters are often of importance, but there is no importance in a _petit
maître_,” will probably be acquiesced in by common people, though those
implicated by the serious pun may think it uncommonly impudent. Newton’s
position taken in the _Principia_, that “in apples and men there is much
specific gravity, but mushrooms and dandies are of trifling lightness,”
may be disputed by the latter, who with some show might liken their
weight to that of “some pumpkins.” Euclid’s celebrated rule, “a plane
superficies is every where flat, _e.g._ a dandy who is plainly
superficial is a flat every where,” has long been a fixture in
geometrical lore, which may be doubted, though dangerous to dissent
from. We, therefore, seek in vain in the lessons of ancient science and
wisdom for competent authority to settle the question—“What is a
dandy?” _Hamlet_, who being the “glass of fashion and the mould of
form,” was of course a fop, did on one occasion confess that himself and
some other leaders of the ton at that time, yclept _Horatio_ and
_Marcellus_, were “fools of nature,” and horribly shook their
dispositions “with thoughts beyond the reaches of their souls.” His
candid admission that exquisites are natural fools—“rather weak in the
upper story,” and unable to stand the overpowering weight of grave
thought—has long been admired as a fine picture of the mental condition
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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