Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXX, No. 5, May 1847 — John Shaqi
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXX, No. 5, May 1847Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXX, No. 5, May 1847
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
“_You_ are unjust now, Margaret. You go about to put constructions on my
words, to warp my phrases from their meaning, to torture my thoughts
into evil. _You_ are unjust and ungenerous, and unkind. I will waste
neither words nor affection on you any longer—hate me you may, despise
me if you can, proud girl; but you shall not wring my heart thus. I cast
you from me in your pride—I renounce you. Go, go, unkind and haughty
creature, go to your gothic halls, and gaze upon your long descended
portraits, cherish your little pride with the details of bygone
greatness; go, and confess to your overbearing father that you have been
but a degenerate daughter, to stoop even in thought so low as to a
beggarly Thornhill; go, and console his wounded pride by your
repentance; go, and profess your willingness to be the bride of titled
imbecility and noble baseness, in _his_ chosen suitor. Go, I say, go,
Margaret Clavering. Go, and forget that Lionel Thornhill, whom you once
swore to love forever—that Lionel Thornhill, who now gives you back
your oath. Go, Margaret Clavering, go; and farewell for ever.”
“Farewell, Lionel Thornhill.”
And with a calm demeanor and firm step, but with a heart so full that
she fancied it would burst at every step she made to leave him, the fair
girl turned away. It was a mighty, mighty effort, and her brain reeled
dizzily, and a mist darkened her eyes. “My God,” she moaned within her
heart, “My God, how have I loved this man, that he should thus deal with
me; but it is better, it is better so to part, and God will give me
strength to bear it.” And without looking once behind her, she walked in
bitterness of spirit down that dim walk, which she had not an hour
before ascended full of glad thoughts and joyous aspirations; convinced
in her own mind that this was, indeed, a final rupture between herself
and her impetuous and reckless lover, and thoroughly determined that she
would neither return nor relent, unless on the exhibition of an altered
and amended spirit on the part of him whom she indeed loved with all the
sincere and earnest depth of a mind as powerful as it was pure, but of
whose many faults of character and temper she was already but too
painfully aware.
Nor was this resolve on her part in any degree the result of any idle
coquetry, or weak and unworthy desire to try her lover’s patience, or
exert her influence over him. It was rather the consequence of a
perception which had been long gaining upon her, that the spirit of
Lionel, although high-toned and ambitious of good and high ends, and
full of noble aspirations, was yet altogether deficient in stability and
self-reliance; that his character was marred by a sort of jealous
irritability and impatience, and that he was in no small danger of
becoming in the end that most unhappy and unamiable of beings, a
self-doubter, and a doubter of all around him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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