Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXXV, No. 2, August 1849Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXXV, No. 2, August 1849
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
bowed and fettered by earthly cares—this was the cold, brief recording
of the history of a warm nature, that had patiently toiled and
uncomplainingly suffered—that even in its youth had been old in
grief—that had wandered abroad and found no rest, and then, like a
wounded bird, had winged its way homeward to die! Ah, Mary! little
dreamed we, in our sunny days, that mine eyes should ever trace the
chronicle of such a destiny for thee!
We had first met, in childhood, at the country residence of a friend,
where we were both spending the summer months. She accompanied her
mother—her only surviving parent, then slowly declining in the last
stage of consumption. Mary and myself, thrown continually together,
without other companions, speedily became warm friends, though her
pensive, irresolute disposition, had little in common with my natural
impetuous animation. She had been the attendant on suffering from her
earliest recollection, for her father had died after a lingering
illness, during which he had desired the constant enlivenment of his
only child’s society, and her mother had for years been a resigned but
hopeless invalid. All who have closely observed children, are aware of
the influence such things half-unconsciously exert over minds
susceptible to every impression, and it was not strange that one so used
to look on sorrow, should have learned at last to doubt the very
existence of happiness.
Mary was a strikingly beautiful child, with dark, soul-revealing eyes,
bright with the mystical fire of the burning thoughts within. I well
remember their rapturous expression when she was excited by some tale of
heroism—for she was full of a strange, quiet enthusiasm, that wasted
itself in fruitless sympathy with the moral greatness of others, but
shrank with painful distrust from reliance on its own impulsive
guidance. She was quick of feeling, and easily touched by the most
trivial deed of kindness, and her being was too sensitive for her ever
to be thoughtlessly happy. Her look and manner were peculiarly winning
in their tranquil, subdued gentleness; and when this was, occasionally,
though rarely, laid aside for awhile, amid the irrepressible mirth of
childish amusement, her laugh had the ringing, silvery melody which
seems the musical essence of enjoyment. For two successive summers we
met and were inseparably intimate, and then four years elapsed before we
were again together. During this interval Mary’s mother died, and she
went far from my home, to reside with a distant relation. We had, from
our first parting, corresponded regularly, and her letters were, like
herself, poetical and visionary. I know not wherefore, for she wrote no
murmur, but they left the impression that she was not satisfied with her
new home, and my heart yearned to comfort her, to remove from her lot
its loneliness, from her soul its dimness. But she shrunk, with what
then appeared to me morbid delicacy, from all approach to confidence on
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