"Why, on board that pirate ship I noticed that one of the men, Snake Simpson, was wearing a picture of a very pretty girl. His wife, he said, only she had run out on him many years ago. Of course, her hair was blonde, and yours is black, and you seem to have done something to your nose in the meantime, but I'd never mistake the mouth. So large for your face, you know." "Why, you little--" the younger woman began. "I wouldn't tell anybody in the world about it. Unless, of course, you made trouble, Mrs. Simp--I mean, Miss Toujours." "Nobody in the world would believe you!" snapped the actress. Grandma gave her a beneficent smile. "Carlton E. Carlton would. By the way, my dear, I think I know now why you wear these nighties. But one does feel so naked in them, if you know what I mean. And now, if you'll please leave. This part of the ship is restricted to first class passengers." * * * * * When the _Kismet_ landed at the New York spaceport many days later, Grandma left the ship reluctantly, knowing that it marked the end of a great adventure for her. In protest against this, she took the little money she had with her and spent a full week of almost riotous living on the town, visiting all the nightclubs and the dives, flirting dangerously with men of 70 and 80, half her age, and almost getting arrested six times. But one bright morning, her funds exhausted, she was deposited bag and baggage on the front lawn of Melissa Muir's Home for Elderly Ladies. Grandma looked the place over dourly. "Well, I guess there's nothing left for me to do now but retire from active life and take up painting," Grandma said to herself. And picking up some of her effects, she started up the walk. Close to the front porch, however, two men stepped out from behind some shrubbery and started towards her. "Grandma!" one of them shouted. And it was only then that she recognized Lamps and Snake, freshly shaven and with clean suits on. "Why, Lamps O'Toole! And you, too, Snake! Whatever are you two doing at this old boneyard?" she said, hugging each in turn. "We come to see you, Grandma," Lamps told her, bashful as a boy asking for his first date. "We had to put in to Earth for fuel, so we came by to see how you was." Snake Simpson, plainly embarrassed at her display of affection, wriggled free from her bony embrace. "Yeah, Grandma, we come by to bring you a message from Perfessor Spindle. He still don't know what you did to the Suggestor Ray, but he says you're a real Icy Stein." "You mean Einstein, Snake. That's very kind of the professor." "And we brought you a little present to show you how much we appreciate you getting us the pardons," Lamps told her, thrusting a small package into her hands. "Don't go and open it until we leave, though." Grandma Perkins felt a little flustered by all the attention she was receiving. "Why, thank you very much, boys. I'm sure I'll like it."