Great Catherine (Whom Glory Still Adores)Shaw, Bernard
General
Great Catherine (Whom Glory Still Adores)
Shaw, Bernard
Catherine II, Empress of Russia, 1729-1796 -- Drama; English drama (Comedy)
EDSTASTON [gasping]. You shall hear more of this. Damn you, will
you untie me? I will complain to the ambassador. I will write to the
Gazette. England will blow your trumpery little fleet out of the water
and sweep your tinpot army into Siberia for this. Will you let me
go? Damn you! Curse you! What the devil do you mean by it?
I'll--I'll--I'll-- [he is carried out of hearing].
NARYSHKIN [snatching his hands from Claire's face with a scream, and
shaking his finger frantically]. Agh! [The Sergeant, amazed, lets go her
hands.] She has bitten me, the little vixen.
CLAIRE [spitting and wiping her mouth disgustedly]. How dare you put
your dirty paws on my mouth? Ugh! Psha!
THE SERGEANT. Be merciful, Little angel Mother.
CLAIRE. Do not presume to call me your little angel mother. Where are
the police?
NARYSHKIN. We are the police in St Petersburg, little spitfire.
THE SERGEANT. God knows we have no orders to harm you, Little Mother.
Our duty is done. You are well and strong; but I shall never be the same
man again. He is a mighty and terrible fighter, as stout as a bear.
He has broken my sweetbread with his strong knees. God knows poor folk
should not be set upon such dangerous adversaries!
CLAIRE. Serve you right! Where have they taken Captain Edstaston to?
NARYSHKIN [spitefully]. To the Empress, little beauty. He has insulted
the Empress. He will receive a hundred and one blows of the knout. [He
laughs and goes out, nursing his bitten finger.]
THE SERGEANT. He will feel only the first twenty and he will be
mercifully dead long before the end, little darling.
CLAIRE [sustained by an invincible snobbery]. They dare not touch an
English officer. I will go to the Empress myself: she cannot know who
Captain Edstaston is--who we are.
THE SERGEANT. Do so in the name of the Holy Nicholas, little beauty.
CLAIRE. Don't be impertinent. How can I get admission to the palace?
THE SERGEANT. Everybody goes in and out of the palace, little love.
CLAIRE. But I must get into the Empress's presence. I must speak to her.
THE SERGEANT. You shall, dear Little Mother. You shall give the poor old
Sergeant a rouble; and the blessed Nicholas will make your salvation his
charge.
CLAIRE [impetuously]. I will give you [she is about to say fifty
roubles, but checks herself cautiously]--Well: I don't mind giving you
two roubles if I can speak to the Empress.
THE SERGEANT [joyfully]. I praise Heaven for you, Little Mother. Come.
[He leads the way out.] It was the temptation of the devil that led
your young man to bruise my vitals and deprive me of breath. We must be
merciful to one another's faults.
THE FOURTH SCENE
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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