Great Catherine (Whom Glory Still Adores) — John Shaqi
Great Catherine (Whom Glory Still Adores)Shaw, Bernard
General
Great Catherine (Whom Glory Still Adores)
Shaw, Bernard
Catherine II, Empress of Russia, 1729-1796 -- Drama; English drama (Comedy)
A triangular recess communicating by a heavily curtained arch with the
huge ballroom of the palace. The light is subdued by red shades on the
candles. In the wall adjoining that pierced by the arch is a door. The
only piece of furniture is a very handsome chair on the arch side. In
the ballroom they are dancing a polonaise to the music of a brass band.
Naryshkin enters through the door, followed by the soldiers carrying
Edstaston, still trussed to the pole. Exhausted and dogged, he makes no
sound.
NARYSHKIN. Halt. Get that pole clear of the prisoner. [They dump
Edstaston on the floor and detach the pole. Naryshkin stoops over him
and addresses him insultingly.] Well! are you ready to be tortured? This
is the Empress's private torture chamber. Can I do anything to make you
quite comfortable? You have only to mention it.
EDSTASTON. Have you any back teeth?
NARYSHKIN [surprised]. Why?
EDSTASTON. His Majesty King George the Third will send for six of them
when the news of this reaches London; so look out, damn your eyes!
NARYSHKIN [frightened]. Oh, I assure you I am only obeying my orders.
Personally I abhor torture, and would save you if I could. But the
Empress is proud; and what woman would forgive the slight you put upon
her?
EDSTASTON. As I said before: Damn your eyes!
NARYSHKIN [almost in tears]. Well, it isn't my fault. [To the soldiers,
insolently.] You know your orders? You remember what you have to do when
the Empress gives you the word? [The soldiers salute in assent.]
Naryshkin passes through the curtains, admitting a blare of music and
a strip of the brilliant white candlelight from the chandeliers in
the ballroom as he does so. The white light vanishes and the music is
muffled as the curtains fall together behind him. Presently the band
stops abruptly: and Naryshkin comes back through the curtains. He makes
a warning gesture to the soldiers, who stand at attention. Then he
moves the curtain to allow Catherine to enter. She is in full Imperial
regalia, and stops sternly just where she has entered. The soldiers fall
on their knees.
CATHERINE. Obey your orders.
The soldiers seize Edstaston, and throw him roughly at the feet of the
Empress.
CATHERINE [looking down coldly on him]. Also [the German word], you have
put me to the trouble of sending for you twice. You had better have come
the first time.
EDSTASTON [exsufflicate, and pettishly angry]. I haven't come either
time. I've been carried. I call it infernal impudence.
CATHERINE. Take care what you say.
EDSTASTON. No use. I daresay you look very majestic and very handsome;
but I can't see you; and I am not intimidated. I am an Englishman; and
you can kidnap me; but you can't bully me.
NARYSHKIN. Remember to whom you are speaking.
CATHERINE [violently, furious at his intrusion]. Remember that dogs
should be dumb. [He shrivels.] And do you, Captain, remember that famous
as I am for my clemency, there are limits to the patience even of an
Empress.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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