Great Jehoshaphat and Gully Dirt!Smith, Jewell Ellen
General
Great Jehoshaphat and Gully Dirt!
Smith, Jewell Ellen
American fiction -- 20th century
I eased up closer to his rocker and tapped him on the hand. "Grandpa?"
He didn't hear me.
"Grandpa?"
"Huh? What? Oh, it's you, Bandershanks." He pushed back his hat brim
and moved the newspaper. "How's my girl?"
"Grandpa, Mister Hawk said for you to get down to the road. And make
haste. It's going fast!"
"What's going fast?"
"That auto'bile coming!"
"Automobile? Oh, my! Let's go! We gotta see that! There's not many
traveling our road yet. Get me my stick there in the corner, sugar. I'm
sure proud Hawk phoned."
I had a hard time trying to catch up with Grandpa. He wasn't waiting
for me—or his walking cane. And he was almost out to the front yard
gate before I could hand it to him.
Mama was unlatching the gate.
"Nannie, where's Wiley? And Mildredge? They don't want to miss seeing a
automobile!'
Before Mama could tell Grandpa that Mildredge, as he always called
Mierd, was over at Aunt Lovie's, we saw Wiley come bounding across the
corner of our yard, heading toward the road.
Trixie was right with him, and he and that red mammy hound didn't even
look at us, or the gate. Side by side, they skirted around Mama's cape
jasmine bush and went over the fence in one big leap—like they'd been
practicing together for days, Grandpa said.
"I declare to my soul!" Mama cried. "Wiley, you tore your pants!"
Mama always said "I declare to my soul" when something went wrong. If
Papa had been there, he would have said "Great Jehoshaphat and gully
dirt!" That's what he hollered when anything bad happened—torn pants or
anything else.
Grandma Ming said the reason Papa wouldn't say nothing but Great
Jehoshaphat and gully dirt was because my mama was a preacher's
daughter, and she wouldn't stand for "poor Jodie doing no cussing."
Grandpa thought Wiley's tearing the back end of his britches on the
yard fence was all right.
"Never mind, Nannie," he was telling Mama. "It's not every day a boy
gets to see a automobile. Wonder what make it is."
I skipped on ahead so I could sit down beside the edge of the road with
Wiley and Trixie. Wiley was leaning back against a good-sized pine
sapling, dangling his feet in the gully, and trying to hold Trixie
around the neck. She twisted and turned and swished her tail. After a
bit, though, she settled down between us and stopped panting long
enough to reach over and lick Wiley square in the face.
"Quit it, Trixie! And get quiet, I'm listening for a automobile.
Bandershanks, you hear anything?"
"No, I don't hear nothing. What's it gonna sound like?"
"Like a motor, you silly goose! Hot diggity! I hear it!" With that,
Wiley jumped across the ditch and tore off down the middle of the road,
running as fast as he could sling his fat legs and bare feet. Trixie
was having a hard time keeping up with him.
"Wiley! Get outta that road, son!" Mama screamed. "You'll get run
over!" Mama started running after them, but Grandpa called her back.
"Nannie, don't fret! They'll get outta the way soon as they see it
coming!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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