(MADGE _takes periodical and begins to read_. FARADAY _takes the outer sheet of the Times, pulls it off, and throws it across table. It falls to floor_ R. _of table_. GRICE _stoops to pick it up_. EVELYN _takes it from his hand as he rises, saying, "Thank you, Admiral."_ GRICE looks at her disgustedly and sits twiddling his thumbs_. NOTE: _The outer sheets of the Times must be stuck together in order to have them fall properly_. NOTE: The birth, marriage and death column of the Times is in the upper left hand corner of the first page_. EVELYN, MADGE _and_ FARADAY _have become absorbed in their papers_. GRICE _looks about him and then, exasperated, seizes a book and sits_ R. _of table_ L., _reading it_.) FARADAY. (_After a pause_) I never saw a paper like this. (_Strikes paper with back of his hand_.) There is absolutely nothing in this paper. (TARVER _and_ PHYLLIS _re-enter, go to fender and sit_. TARVER _has had his clothes brushed_.) GRICE. I never saw a paper with anything in it. (_Pause_.) How about the bye-elections? FARADAY. (_Grunting, absorbed in his paper_) Huh! (_Long pause_.) EVELYN. (_Reading front page_) Oh, Madge, Elsie Hardiman is engaged. MADGE. Not really? AUNT IDA. (_From up stage, comes slightly_ R.C. _Uneasily and anxiously watching_ EVELYN) Isn't there--isn't there any other news, Evelyn? EVELYN. No, dear. AUNT IDA. Anybody married? EVELYN. No one we know. AUNT IDA. (_With a forced attempt at cheerfulness_) Or dead? EVELYN. (_Absently. Looking over paper_) No, dear. Ab--so--lutely noth---- (_Her eye suddenly lights on_ SMITH'S _death notice. She reads it in pantomime. A look of horror comes over her face and she utters a shrill scream_.) (_All rise hastily with exclamations_.) FARADAY. (_Jumping to his feet_) God bless my soul! What's the matter, what's the matter? TARVER. Great Scott! What's the matter? MADGE. What _is_ the matter, Evelyn? GRICE. (_Coming center_) Really, Lady Trenchard, you ought not to startle people like that. It's selfish. (_Goes to her, takes paper from her limp hand and comes down stage_.) What's the news, eh? FARADAY. (_Taking paper from_ GRICE _with importance, and crossing_ L.) _I'll_ tell you. EVELYN. (_In hushed whisper_) Father, the deaths, the deaths! (_During the following scene_, GRICE _is fairly dancing with impatience_.) FARADAY. (_Reads death notice and sits heavily extreme_ L. _with a sigh_) Poor girl! MADGE. (_From above table_) Father. (FARADAY _hands paper to_ MADGE, _saying, "Read, read."_) PHYLLIS. (_After a slight pause runs across stage to_ MADGE) What is it, Madge? MADGE. Oh, Phyllis. PHYLLIS. (_Stands by_ MADGE, _takes paper and reads_) That does seem cruel, doesn't it? GRICE. Why do people want to keep the news to themselves? (_Takes paper away from_ PHYLLIS _and comes down_ C. _He reads_) Whew! (_Stands ruminating_) Well, well, well, well! (_Holds paper to him_.)