Asteroids -- Fiction; Science fiction; Short stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
Joe was still stretched out on the bar, panting, his eyes slowly
crossing and uncrossing. Harvey lifted the patient's head tenderly,
put the bottle to his lips and tilted it until he was forced to drink.
When Joe tried to pull away, Harvey was inexorable. He made his partner
drink until most of the liquid was gone. Then he stepped back and
waited for the inevitable result.
Joe's performance was better than ever. He lay supine for several
moments, his face twisted into an expression that seemed doomed
to perpetual wryness. Slowly, however, he sat up and his features
straightened out.
"Are--are you all right?" asked the mayor anxiously.
"Much better," said Joe in a weak voice.
"Maybe you need another dose," Harvey suggested.
Joe recoiled. "I'm fine now!" he cried, and sprang off the bar to prove
it.
Astonished, Johnson and his son drew closer. They searched Joe's face,
and then the mayor timidly felt his pulse.
"Well, I'll be hanged!" Johnson ejaculated.
"_La-anago Yergis_ never fails, my friend," Harvey explained. "By
actual test, it conquers asteroid fever in from four to twenty-three
minutes, depending on the severity of the attack. Luckily, we caught
this one before it grew formidable."
The mayor's eyes became clouded mirrors of an inward conflict. "If you
don't charge too much," he said warily, "I might think of buying some."
"We do not sell this unbelievable remedy," Harvey replied with dignity.
"It sells itself."
"'Course, I'd expect a considerable reduction if I bought a whole
case," said Johnson.
"That would be the smallest investment you could make, compared with
the vast loss of time and strength the fever involves."
"How much?" asked the mayor unhappily.
"For you, since you have taken us in so hospitably, a mere five hundred
buckos."
Johnson did not actually stagger back, but he gave the impression of
doing so. "F-four hundred," he offered.
"Not a red cent less than four seventy-five," Harvey said flatly.
"Make it four fifty," quavered Johnson.
"I dislike haggling," said Harvey.
The final price, however, was four hundred and sixty-nine buckos and
fifty redsents. Magnanimously, Harvey added: "And we will include,
_gratis_, an elegant bottle-opener, a superb product of Mercurian
handicraftsmanship."
Johnson stabbed out a warning finger. "No tricks now. I want a taste of
that stuff. You're not switching some worthless junk on me."
Harvey took a glass from the bar and poured him a generous sample. The
mayor sniffed it, grimaced, then threw it down his gullet. The ensuing
minute saw a grim battle between a man and his stomach, a battle which
the man gradually won.
"There ain't no words for that taste," he gulped when it was safe to
talk again.
"Medicine," Harvey propounded, "should taste like medicine." To Joe he
said: "Come, my esteemed colleague. We must perform the sacred task to
which we have dedicated ourselves."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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