Grit LawlessYoung, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Philosophy
Grit Lawless
Young, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Africa -- Fiction
"Oh! my dear!" she said. And then: "Easy! If you knew what it cost me
to reconcile myself to the thought of sharing in nursing you with that
woman... I was prepared to do that. Oh yes! I know the rights of that
story now, but I didn't when I left Cape Town."
Lawless flushed darkly.
"I don't deserve that you should come near me, Zoe... I behaved to you
like a cad."
"You didn't behave well," she returned. "I wonder why you acted as you
did. When Colonel Grey told me the story, I felt that you must hate me
to let me think that... It made me bitter. Afterwards, when death came
so very close, such matters appeared less important, trivial even... I
ceased to think of them."
"It makes a difference," he said.
His hand twisted under hers until the palm came uppermost; his fingers
closed upon her fingers, gripping them tightly. A little thrill of
happiness ran through her. It was many a long year since his hand had
gripped hers like that. He turned his face suddenly and looked at her.
"You are cold," he complained, but his eyes smiled with a look of
complete satisfaction. "You punish me by staying out of my room
altogether until I become violent, commit an assault on a very harmless
person, and practically send for you. And now you are here--you permit
me to hold your hand."
She laughed and flushed warmly.
"I'm leaving it all to you," she said softly. "I want to leave it to
you... You ought to understand."
"When I was sick," he said whimsically, "I suffered from delusions. The
most amazing as well as the pleasantest of these fancies was that one
day you came and sat beside my bed where you are sitting now, only,
inexplicably, your arms were about me, and your face was close to mine
upon the pillow. I was out of my body then. I think I should have
slipped away altogether but for those restraining arms. I've lain often
and tried to will the vision back, but it never reappeared."
He turned in the bed and lifted himself slightly on his elbow.
"You are far more elusive than that fancy of mine," he grumbled.
He gripped the hand he held tighter, and pulled her towards him.
"I thought you weren't conscious," she said, stooping lower. "I didn't
guess you knew..."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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