Grit LawlessYoung, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Philosophy
Grit Lawless
Young, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Africa -- Fiction
"With you age doesn't signify," she said. "You've had your years, and
lived them, and each one has brought its past year's satisfaction; but
with me there has been waste." She leant back against the cushions,
with one arm flung out over the head of the sofa. "The years that the
locusts have eaten!" ... she murmured... "It's when you have let the
locusts eat into the precious years that you feel the bitterness of the
loss of the golden hours. If I'd had my golden hours--if I'd enjoyed
them, I shouldn't feel sorrowful at the coming of silver hairs. Youth
that is wasted is like a day when the sunshine has been obscured by
clouds. Towards evening the clouds pass, and the sun shines forth,
perhaps, for a few minutes before it sets. But the clouds have spoilt
the morning and rendered the tardy radiance ineffectual... The time has
passed."
"Your philosophy would be less painful if it were not so
incontrovertible," Mrs Smythe returned quietly. "But if there has been
waste, Zoe, isn't it adding to it to spend the hours mourning over those
already gone? It would be far more sensible if you were to get out of
that ridiculously becoming tea-gown and come out driving with me. I'm
not surprised at your depression if you have spent the last few days
dwelling on uncomfortable things."
Mrs Lawless smiled faintly.
"It's not so bad as that," she answered. "I'm a creature of moods. Had
you called yesterday you would have found me quite cheerful."
"Then I'm glad that my visit has fitted in with the heavier mood.
Cheerfulness needs no distraction. Change your gown, Zoe, and come out
with me."
Mrs Lawless shook her head in response to her friend's inquiring look.
Her fingers were playing absently with one of the heavy tassels of a
sofa cushion, twisting and pulling at it, and entwining themselves with
the silky strands. She looked down at the tassel pensively, and at the
busy fingers fidgeting with it continually as though their purposeless
occupation held an interest for her.
"Thank you for suggesting it," she said slowly. "I would have been glad
to go; but I am expecting Mr Lawless."
Mrs Smythe stared at her. Amazement bereft her of her customary tact.
"Expecting him! ... this afternoon?... Why, my dear, I passed him
driving with--"
She came to an abrupt halt, and gazed at her quiet companion with
dismayed and apologetic eyes.
"His mistress," Zoe finished for her, looking up. "You needn't mind
saying it... I have accustomed myself to the idea. He may not come
this afternoon, of course... But--I think I prefer to stay at home."
Mrs Smythe was silent for a while.
"I never was so disappointed in anyone in my life as I am in him," she
remarked at length.
Zoe's big eyes showed a faint surprise.
"No!" she said.
"Aren't you disappointed in him?" Mrs Smythe asked wonderingly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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