"Yes, you can sing a sad song to that tune! Well, well, I will not
chafe the wound which pains you more than all the rest; but in truth
you have only early learned what sooner or later we must all learn,
that we can least expect a correct construction of our views and
intentions, and even of our position, from those who stand in the
closest relation to us."
In this too there was truth; and I could not refrain from looking in a
more friendly manner at the man.
"I have just now had proof of this. My brother Ernest is, as I have
already said, one of the best of men; and yet what trouble does it not
give him to place himself in my situation. To be sure, he has always
lived with so much regularity that he does not know what it is in one
night to lose the half of one's receipts, which are anyhow dealt out in
such stinted measure; he does not know what it is to have to compromise
with one's creditors--to risk one's own subsistence and that of others,
alas! and what is bitterest of all, to be dependent on the good-will of
a hard-hearted man of money!"
Here the white hand wiped a tear which seemed to have accumulated in
the inner corner of his right eye, and then resignedly glided to his
lap, while a mild smile stole over his aristocratic features.
He rose and said:
"Forgive me; but an unfortunate one feels himself irresistibly
attracted to the unhappy, and you have always been a friend of my
house, and the best companion of my Arthur. You must not take it ill of
the poor youth, if pride in his new sword has turned his head a little.
You know him; hardly once in ten times does his heart know what his
tongue is saying; and he has already owned to me that in the notion
that he owed it to his dignity as an ensign, he behaved very foolishly
to you. You really must forgive him."
He smiled again, nodded to me, was about to offer his hand again, but
remembered that I had refused it before, and withdrew it, smiled again,
but very sadly, and went to the garden door, which he opened softly and
softly closed behind him.
I looked after him with a mingled feeling of astonishment and contempt.
Was this soft-speaking man, who in my presence could weep over his
position, the same to whom as a boy I had looked up as to a superior
being? And if his case was so desperate--and as far as I could learn it
might very well be so--I might have behaved in a more friendly manner
to him, might have afforded him a word of sympathy, above all, need not
have repulsed his offered hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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