QUEEN OF DIAMONDS (_superciliously, to QUEEN OF CLUBS_). Methinks his words have a double edge. JOKER (_to QUEEN OF DIAMONDS_). You wrong me, good lady, for he that playeth with edged tools is most apt to cut himself. [_Enter, L., KNAVE OF SPADES, who announces,_] KNAVE OF SPADES. Their Majesties the King and Queen of Spades. [_Music. Enter, L., in great haste, the KING and QUEEN OF SPADES._] KING OF SPADES (_breathlessly_). Ah, I so greatly feared, my lord-- KING OF HEARTS. A hand to thee, cousin of Spades, a hand to thee, and welcome. QUEEN OF HEARTS. And a fair day to you, good dame of Spades. [Illustration: "WE DID HASTEN BEYOND ALL REASON!"] QUEEN OF SPADES (_panting_). Sweet cousin, we did so greatly fear to be behindhand that we did hasten beyond all reason. I am quite forlorn of breath. QUEEN OF HEARTS. Seat you, seat you, good lady. [_The KING and QUEEN OF SPADES are very much out of breath, and very warm. The KING and QUEEN OF HEARTS arise in their entrance to greet them, but the KING and QUEEN OF SPADES are so overcome with excitement that they forget the conventionalities, and the QUEEN OF SPADES flops into the third arm-chair without making any courtesy. The KING OF SPADES takes his stand behind her, wiping his brow vigorously with his handkerchief, then suddenly remembers he has omitted to kiss the hand of his hostess. He hastens across the stage falling as he goes, and makes up for the omission. The KNAVE OF SPADES sits on the bench._] QUEEN OF HEARTS. There, now, rest you easily, for there is small haste for the feast. KING OF SPADES (_still mopping his face and puffing_). I am much relieved that we were not late on the banquet, King of Hearts. The banquet should have waited on you, cousin. KING OF SPADES (_pacing about the stage, nervously fanning himself; occasionally he stumbles and falls_). Ay, but I might not so well have waited on the banquet. QUEEN OF SPADES. True, he hungers mightily. [_Fans herself vigorously with her handkerchief._] QUEEN OF HEARTS (_to JOKER_). Sir Joker, the Queen of Spades suffereth of her exertions. I beg of you seek a fan. [_JOKER bows, and exit R._] QUEEN OF CLUBS (_aside to QUEEN OF DIAMONDS_). I marvel at the rapacity of some folk. QUEEN OF DIAMONDS. Verily one might think that there lacked meat and cooks and scullions in the land of Spades. QUEEN OF CLUBS. Nay, but I dare say they be short two scullions at the present hour. [_They laugh._] QUEEN OF HEARTS (_to QUEEN OF DIAMONDS_). What say you? QUEEN OF CLUBS. I was saying that if haste might always so trim our cheeks with color as that which now blooms upon the fair face of our cousin of Spades, it were worth the discomfort of so great an energy. [_Enter JOKER, R. He presents fan to QUEEN OF SPADES, who fans herself boisterously._] JOKER. Would I were a fan, that even my whispers might be of such grateful reception to a lady's ear!