"The King of Hearts Called for those tarts, And beat the Knave full sore--" _Enter the KING OF HEARTS, L., somewhat out of breath, rolling down his sleeves, and followed by the KNAVES OF DIAMONDS, CLUBS, and SPADES._ KING OF HEARTS. Ah, but I did ply the rod right lustily! I am quite aweary. [_Sits down._] KING OF SPADES (_rubbing his hands_). We did much enjoy the music! QUEEN OF HEARTS. Good spouse, I would beg one thing of thee. It being the Fourth of July, and so our nation's birthday, spare the rogue his life. Let him come before us again. You heard him say he would make explanation. Let him come and speak. Perchance it is not too late for him to make restitution. KING OF HEARTS (_in astonishment_). Dost thou truly desire that the varlet should be spared? QUEEN OF HEARTS (_pleading_). Ay, truly, my lord. And I do especially yearn for the return of the fire-crackers. KING OF SPADES. Ay, cousin, if he would but return the fire-crackers, hear him, I urge, hear him. KING OF HEARTS (_to the three KNAVES_). Hale me hither that Knave again. (_Exeunt the KNAVES, L._) I greatly doubt me, sweet lady, that the thieving churl will return the crackers. He did not return the tarts. But if he can and does return the fire-crackers, then at your request will I spare him his life. QUEEN OF HEARTS. You make me promise of that, my King? KING OF HEARTS. You have my word upon it. [_Enter, L., the three KNAVES escorting the KNAVE OF HEARTS, who is very sore as a result of his beating._] KING OF HEARTS. Knave, the Queen hath begged of me to let thee speak ere the headsman seals thy lips forever. KNAVE OF HEARTS. A blessing upon you, good lady. KING OF HEARTS. And now speak what thou hast to say, and may thy words be brief. KNAVE OF HEARTS. My liege, I did not steal the fire-crackers. I did but see them near the tapers, and I did fear lest they catch fire and explode upon the table. Methought they were the daintier did they hold some sweet contents, and so I took them and bore them off, and found them void. So then I was about to bring them back to the banquet board, when yon messengers did seize me and hale me roughly before your Majesties. KING OF HEARTS. And thou didst have intention to return them? KNAVE OF HEARTS. Ay, verily, my liege. Verily I did. I plead now that I be allowed to bring them to the board. KING OF HEARTS. Speakest thou the truth, Knave? KNAVE OF HEARTS. Every word is truth, sire. KING OF HEARTS. Then go thou and seek the fire-crackers. (_To the other KNAVES._) And go ye with him. (_To the KNAVE OF HEARTS._) The Queen holds my word that if thou bringest them back, I spare thy life. Now look to thyself. Away! [_Exeunt, L., the four KNAVES._] JOKER. It is a cheap life that costeth but eight fire-crackers! KING OF SPADES. Ay, but the fire-crackers be worth more than yon Knave's life.