A brand new joke: Mefisto's bulging eyes, bristling ears and ghastly grin invite curiosity every time when worn on scarf or lapel, and it is fully satisfied when by pressing the rubber ball concealed in your inside pocket you souse your inquiring friend with water. Throws a stream 30 feet; hose 16 in. long; 1-1/2 inch ball; handsome silver-oxidized face colored in hard enamel; worth 25c. as a pin and a dollar as a joker; sent as a sample of our 3000 specialties with 112 page catalogue post-paid for ONLY 15c.; 2 for 25c.; $1.40 Doz. AGENTS Wanted. ROBT. H. INGERSOLL & BRO., Dept. No. 62, 65 & 67 Cortlandt Street, New York City. [Illustration: AN ALARMING CUSTOMER. THE WILD MARCH HARE. "SAY, I'M WILD! GIVE ME A SEDATIVE, QUICK!"] * * * * * AN INGENIOUS DEFENCE. An old darky was brought before a Southern magistrate, not long ago, accused of stealing a neighbor's chickens when the nights were dark and no one stirred abroad. The old man put up a long but weak argument, seizing upon every possible straw to support his defence. The evidence was too strong, however, and matters were rapidly approaching a climax that meant a month of idleness in the town jail. The thought of this and the attendant ignominy stirred the old darky to a point where he did nothing but splutter out, "'Pon my honor, jedge, Ise--er--Ise didn't done take 'em." At last the judge grew tired, and was about to sentence him, when a broad smile illuminated the darky's face as he cried out, "I's got it, jedge; Ise can prove an alibi 'bout dem chickens." "Well, what is it?" exclaimed the judge. "You see, jedge, no poor colored man could take dem chickens at night-time." "How's that?--what do you mean?" "'Cause, jedge, dey's nothin' but roosters at night, and de charge am dat I took chickens." The ingenuity of the defence won the day. * * * * * NO DUPLICITY HERE. The story is told of an English and an Irish trooper who were scouting against the Matabele in South Africa recently. A band of savages suddenly burst from behind some rocks and started for the men. They jumped upon their horses and fled over the rough country, but the Irishman kept falling to the rear of his companion. "Confound you, Mike!" exclaimed the Englishman; "ride, ride for your life! You'll be caught!" "Go 'long wid you!" replied the Irish trooper, who was doing his best; "do you think I'm throwin' the race?" * * * * * ONE OF THE FAMILY.