Hay fever : $b A light comedy in three acts — John Shaqi
Hay fever : $b A light comedy in three actsCoward, Noël
General
Hay fever : $b A light comedy in three acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy); Families -- Drama; Psychological games -- Drama
[_Everyone is talking and arguing._
[_The following scene should be played with great speed._
SIMON: Who’ll go out?
SOREL: I don’t mind.
SIMON: No; you always guess it too quickly.
JACKIE: What do we have to do?
JUDITH: Choose an adverb, and then——
SIMON: Someone goes out, you see, and comes in, and you’ve chosen a word
among yourselves, and she or he or whoever it is asks you some sort of
question and you have to——
SOREL: Not an ordinary question, Simon; they have to ask them to do
something in the manner of the word, and then——
SIMON: Then, you see, you act whatever it is——
SOREL: The answer to the question, you see?
RICHARD (_apprehensively_): What sort of thing is one expected to do?
JUDITH: Quite usual things, like reciting “If,” or playing the piano——
RICHARD: I can’t play the piano.
SIMON: Never mind; you can fake it, as long as it conveys an idea of the
word.
JACKIE: The word we’ve all thought of?
SOREL (_impatient_): Yes, the word we’ve chosen when whoever it is is out
of the room.
JACKIE: I’m afraid I don’t quite understand yet.
SIMON: Never mind; I’ll explain. You see, someone goes out....
SOREL: I’ll go out the first time, just to show her.
JUDITH: It’s quite simple—all you have to do is just act in the manner of
the word.
SOREL: Look here, everybody, I’m going out.
SIMON: All right; go on.
MYRA: The History game’s awfully good—when two people go out, and come
back as Queen Elizabeth and Crippen or somebody.
SANDY (_despondently_): I’m no earthly good at this sort of thing.
SOREL: I’ll show you, Sandy. You see....
JUDITH: There’s always “How, When and Where?” We haven’t played that for
ages.
SIMON: We will afterwards. We’ll do this one first.—Go on, Sorel.
SOREL: Don’t be too long. (_She goes out._)
SIMON: Now then.
JUDITH: “Bitterly.”
SIMON: No, we did that last week; she’ll know.
DAVID: “Intensely.”
JUDITH: Too difficult.
RICHARD: There was an amusing game I played once at the Harringtons’
house. Everyone was blindfolded except——
SIMON: This room’s not big enough for that. What about “winsomely”?
JACKIE: I wish I knew what we had to do.
JUDITH: You’ll see when we start playing.
MYRA: _If_ we start playing.
SIMON: Mother’s brilliant at this. Do you remember when we played it at
the Mackenzies’?
JUDITH: Yes, and Blanche was so cross when I kissed Freddie’s ear in the
manner of the word.
RICHARD: What was the word?
JUDITH: I can’t remember.
MYRA: Perhaps it’s as well.
DAVID: What about “drearily”?
JUDITH: Not definite enough.
SIMON: “Winsomely” is the best.
JUDITH: She’s sure to guess it straight off.
SIMON (_confidentially to JACKIE_): These games are much too brainy for
me.
DAVID: Young Norman Robertson used to be marvellous—do you remember?
SIMON: Yes, wonderful sense of humour.
MYRA: He’s lost it all since his marriage.
JUDITH: I didn’t know you knew him.
MYRA: Well, considering he married my cousin——
RICHARD: We don’t seem to be getting on with the game.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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