Hay fever : $b A light comedy in three actsCoward, Noël
General
Hay fever : $b A light comedy in three acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy); Families -- Drama; Psychological games -- Drama
SOREL: It was nothing, really. For Heaven’s sake——
JUDITH: Nothing! I open the library door casually, and what do I see? I
ask you, what do I see?
SANDY: I’m most awfully sorry....
JUDITH: Ssshh! It has gone beyond superficial apologies.
SOREL: Mother, be natural for a minute.
JUDITH: I don’t know what you mean, Sorel. I’m trying to realise a very
bitter truth as calmly as I can.
SOREL: There’s nothing so very bitter about it.
JUDITH: My poor child!
SOREL (_suddenly_): Very well, then! I love Sandy, and he loves me!
JUDITH: That would be the only possible excuse for your behaviour.
SOREL: Why shouldn’t we love each other if we want to?
JUDITH: Sandy was in love with me this afternoon.
SOREL: Not real love—you know it wasn’t.
JUDITH (_bitterly_): I know now.
SANDY: I say—look here—I’m most awfully sorry.
JUDITH: There’s nothing to be sorry for, really; it’s my fault for having
been so—so ridiculous.
SOREL: Mother!
JUDITH (_sadly_): Yes, ridiculous. I’m getting old, old, and the sooner I
face it the better.
SOREL (_hopelessly_): But, darling....
JUDITH (_splendidly_): Youth will be served. You’re so pretty, Sorel, far
prettier than I ever was—I’m very glad you’re pretty.
SANDY: I feel a fearful cad.
JUDITH: Why should you? You’ve answered the only call that really
counts—the call of Love, and Romance, and Spring. I forgive you, Sandy,
completely. There.
SOREL: Well, that’s all right, then.
JUDITH: I resent your tone, Sorel; you seem to be taking things too much
for granted. Perhaps you don’t realise that I am making a great sacrifice!
SOREL: Sorry, darling.
JUDITH: It’s far from easy, at my time of life, to——
SOREL (_playing up_): Mother—Mother, say you understand and forgive!
JUDITH: Understand! You forget, dear, I am a woman.
SOREL: I know you are, Mother. That’s what makes it all so poignant.
JUDITH (_magnanimously, to SANDY_): If you want Sorel, truly, I give her
to you—unconditionally.
SANDY (_dazed_): Thanks—awfully, Mrs. Bliss.
JUDITH: You can still call me Judith, can’t you?—it’s not much to ask.
SANDY: Judith.
JUDITH (_bravely_): There, now. Away with melancholy. This is all
tremendously exciting, and we must all be very happy.
SOREL: Don’t tell Father—yet.
JUDITH: We won’t tell anybody; it shall be our little secret.
SOREL: You are splendid, Mother.
JUDITH: Nonsense. I just believe in being honest with myself—it’s awfully
good for one, you know, so cleansing. I’m going upstairs now to have a
little aspirin——(_She goes upstairs, and turns._) Ah, Youth, Youth, what
a strange, mad muddle you make of things! (_She goes off._)
[_SOREL heaves a slight sigh, and takes a cigarette._
SOREL: Well, that’s that.
SANDY: Yes.
SOREL: It’s all right. Don’t look so gloomy—I know you don’t love me
really.
SANDY (_startled_): I say, Sorel——
SOREL: Don’t protest; you know you don’t—any more than I love you.
SANDY: But you told Judith——
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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