Hay fever : $b A light comedy in three actsCoward, Noël
General
Hay fever : $b A light comedy in three acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy); Families -- Drama; Psychological games -- Drama
SOREL: } You ought to be ashamed of yourself——
MYRA: } Let me speak—I will speak——
DAVID: } Look here, Myra——
JUDITH: } This is appalling—appalling!
SOREL: } You must be stark, staring mad——
MYRA: } Never again—never as long as I live——
DAVID: } You don’t seem to grasp one thing that——
SIMON: } Why are you behaving like this, anyhow?
[_In the middle of the pandemonium of everyone talking at
once, RICHARD comes in from the garden. He looks extremely
apprehensive, imagining that the noise is the outcome of
JUDITH’S hysterical confession of their lukewarm passion. He
goes to JUDITH’S side, summoning all his diplomatic forces. At
his entrance everyone stops talking._
RICHARD (_with forced calm_): What’s happened? Is this a game?
[_JUDITH’S face gives a slight twitch; then with a meaning look
at SOREL and SIMON, she answers him._
JUDITH (_with spirit_): Yes, and a game that must be played to the finish!
SIMON (_grasping the situation_): Zara! What does this mean?
JUDITH (_in bell-like tones_): So many illusions shattered—so many dreams
trodden in the dust——
DAVID (_collapsing on to the sofa in hysterics_): Love’s whirlwind! Dear
old Love’s whirlwind!
SOREL: I don’t understand. You and Victor—My God!
JUDITH: Hush! Isn’t that little Pam crying——?
SIMON (_savagely_): She’ll cry more, poor mite, when she realises her
mother is a—a——
JUDITH (_shrieking_): Don’t say it! Don’t say it!
SOREL: Spare her that.
JUDITH: I’ve given you all that makes life worth living—my youth, my
womanhood, and now my child. Would you tear the very heart out of me? I
tell you, it’s infamous that men like you should be allowed to pollute
Society. You have ruined my life. I have nothing left—nothing. God in
heaven, where am I to turn for help....
SOREL (_through clenched teeth_): Is this true? Answer me—is this true?
JUDITH (_wailing_): Yes, yes!
SOREL (_springing at SIMON_): You cur!!!
JUDITH (_rushing between them_): Don’t strike! He is your father! (_She
totters and falls in a dead faint._)
[_MYRA, JACKIE, RICHARD and SANDY look on, dazed and aghast._
CURTAIN.
ACT III
ACT III
_It is Sunday morning, about ten o’clock. There are various breakfast
dishes on a side table, and a big table is laid down centre._
[_SANDY appears at the top of the stairs. On seeing no one
about, he comes down quickly and furtively helps himself to
eggs and bacon and coffee, and seats himself at the table.
He eats very hurriedly, casting occasional glances over his
shoulder. A door bangs somewhere upstairs, which terrifies him;
he chokes violently. When he has recovered, he tears a bit of
toast from a rack, butters it and marmalades it, and crams it
into his mouth. Then, hearing somebody approaching, he darts
into the library._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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