Hay fever : $b A light comedy in three actsCoward, Noël
General
Hay fever : $b A light comedy in three acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy); Families -- Drama; Psychological games -- Drama
MYRA: Well, it obviously isn’t here now.
CLARA: Someone’s taken it—that’s what it is.
RICHARD: It seems a queer thing to do.
MYRA: Do you think you could get us some more?
CLARA: Oh, yes, I’ll fetch you some; but mark my words, there’s been some
’anky-panky somewhere. (_She goes out._)
MYRA: Clara is really more at home in a dressing-room than a house.
RICHARD: Was she Judith’s dresser?
MYRA: Of course. What other excuse could there possibly be for her?
RICHARD: She seems good-natured, but quaint.
MYRA: This haddock’s disgusting.
RICHARD: It isn’t very nice, is it?
[_Re-enter CLARA with sugar. She plumps it down._
CLARA: There you are, dear.
MYRA: Thank you.
CLARA: It’s a shame the weather’s changed—you might ’ave ’ad such fun up
the river.
[_There comes the sound of a crash from the library, and a
scream._
What’s that? (_She opens the door._) Come out! What are you doing?
[_JACKIE and SANDY enter, rather shamefaced._
JACKIE: Good morning. I’m afraid we’ve broken a coffee-cup.
CLARA: Was there any coffee in it?
SANDY: Yes, a good deal.
CLARA (_rushing into the library_): Oh dear! all over the carpet!
SANDY: It was my fault. I’m most awfully sorry.
[_CLARA reappears._
CLARA: How did you come to do it?
JACKIE: Well, you see, he had the hiccoughs, and I was showing him how to
drink upside down.
MYRA: How ridiculous!
CLARA: Well, thank ’Eaven it wasn’t one of the Crown Derbys. (_She goes
out._)
SANDY: They’ve gone now, anyhow.
JACKIE: It was the sudden shock, I expect.
SANDY (_observantly_): I say—it’s raining!
MYRA: It’s been raining for hours.
RICHARD: Mrs. Arundel——
MYRA: Yes?
RICHARD: What are you going to do about—about to-day?
MYRA: Nothing, except go up to London by the first train possible.
RICHARD: Do you mind if I come too? I don’t think I could face another
day like yesterday.
JACKIE: Neither could I.
SANDY (_eagerly_): Let’s all go away—quietly!
RICHARD: Won’t it seem a little rude if we _all_ go?
MYRA: Yes it will. (_To SANDY_) You and Miss Coryton must stay.
JACKIE: I don’t see why.
SANDY: I don’t think they’d mind _very_ much if we all went.
MYRA: Yes, they would. You must let Mr. Greatham and me get away first,
anyhow. Ring for Clara. I want to find out about trains.
RICHARD: I hope they won’t all come down now.
MYRA: You needn’t worry about that; they’re sure to roll about in bed for
hours—they’re such a slovenly family.
RICHARD: Have you got much packing to do?
MYRA: No; I did most of it before I came down.
[_Re-enter CLARA._
CLARA: What is it now?
MYRA: Can you tell me what trains there are up to London?
CLARA: When?
MYRA: This morning.
CLARA: Why?—you’re not leaving, are you?
MYRA: Yes; Mr. Greatham and I have to be up by lunch-time.
CLARA: Well, you have missed the 10.15.
MYRA: Obviously.
CLARA: There isn’t another till 12.30.
RICHARD: Good heavens!
CLARA: And that’s a slow one. (_She goes out._)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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