Hay fever : $b A light comedy in three actsCoward, Noël
General
Hay fever : $b A light comedy in three acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy); Families -- Drama; Psychological games -- Drama
JUDITH (_with spirit_): “Yes—and a game that must be played to the
finish.”
SIMON: “Zara, what does this mean?”
JUDITH: “So many illusions shattered—so many dreams trodden in the dust!”
SOREL: I’m George now—“I don’t understand! You and Victor—My God!”
JUDITH: “Sssh! Isn’t that little Pam crying?”
SIMON (_savagely_): “She’ll cry more, poor mite, when she realises her
mother is a——”
JUDITH (_shrieking_): “Don’t say it—don’t say it!”
SOREL: “Spare her that.”
JUDITH: “I’ve given you all that makes life worth living—my youth, my
womanhood, and now my child. Would you tear the very heart out of me?
I tell you that it’s infamous that men like you should be allowed to
pollute Society. You have ruined my life—I have nothing left—nothing. God
in heaven, where am I to turn for help....”
SOREL (_through clenched teeth_): “Is this true? Answer me—is this true?”
JUDITH (_wailing_): “Yes, yes!”
SOREL (_springing at SIMON_): “You cur!”
[_The front door bell rings._
JUDITH: Damn! There’s the bell.
SOREL (_rushing to the glass_): I look hideous!
SIMON: Yes, dear.
[_CLARA enters._
JUDITH: Clara—before you open the door—we shall be eight for dinner.
CLARA: My God!
SIMON: And for breakfast, lunch, tea, and dinner to-morrow.
JUDITH (_vaguely_): Will you get various rooms ready?
CLARA: I shall have to—they can’t sleep in the passage.
SOREL: How we’ve upset Clara.
JUDITH: It can’t be helped—nothing can be helped. It’s Fate—everything
that happens is Fate. That’s always a great comfort to me.
CLARA: More like arrant selfishness.
JUDITH: You mustn’t be pert, Clara.
CLARA: Pert I may be, but I ’ave got some thought for others. Eight for
dinner—Amy going home early. It’s more nor less than an imposition.
[_The bell rings again._
SIMON: Hadn’t you better let them all in?
[_CLARA goes to the front door and admits SANDY TYRELL, who is
a fresh-looking young man; he has an unspoilt, youthful sense
of honour and rather big hands, owing to a misplaced enthusiasm
for amateur boxing._
[_CLARA goes out._
SANDY (_to JUDITH_): I say, it’s perfectly ripping of you to let me come
down.
JUDITH: Are you alone?
SANDY (_surprised_): Yes.
JUDITH: I mean, you didn’t meet anyone at the station?
SANDY: I motored down; my car’s outside. Would you like me to meet
anybody?
JUDITH: Oh, no. I must introduce you. This is my daughter Sorel, and my
son Simon.
SANDY (_shaking hands_): How-do-you-do.
SOREL (_coldly_): I’m extremely well, thank you, and I hope you are.
SIMON: So do I.
[_They both go upstairs rather grandly. SANDY looks shattered._
JUDITH: You must forgive me for having rather peculiar children. Have you
got a bag or anything?
SANDY: Yes; it’s in the car.
JUDITH: We’d better leave it there for the moment, as Clara has to get
the tea. We’ll find you a room afterwards.
SANDY: I’ve been looking forward to this most awfully.
JUDITH: It is nice, isn’t it? You can see as far as Marlow on a clear
day, they tell me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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