"With every passing moment, more beautiful," murmured Mike.
James snorted.
"Well," asked the Watermelon, "who gets the prize?"
"Me humble faculties," said Mike, with one wary eye on James, "me humble
faculties are incapable of rendering true and accurate judgment in the
present case where two such rare specimens of manly beauty compete in my
honored and deeply grateful presence."
The Watermelon laughed and ran his hand over his smooth chin and
hairless cheeks with a gesture of gentle pride. "James said if I could
not get a suit, I would be counted down and out. I," and he drew
himself up, "I do not have to take advantage of a mere technicality. I
scorn to win by default."
"True nobility," said Mike, "is in them words."
"Aw, cut the gas!" growled James. "Where’d you get the blooming outfit?"
"I win, do I?" persisted the Watermelon.
"Mike’s the judge," returned James, losing interest in what was too
obviously a one-sided contest.
"In this competition, there are three points to decide," declared Mike,
not quite sure whom he feared the more, James or the Watermelon. "Beauty
of face, beauty of clothes and beauty of soul. The one who gets two
points out of the three wins."
The Watermelon nodded, James grunted.
Mike glanced thoughtfully from one to the other and decided that danger
lay in either choice. "Neither of you," said he slowly and wisely,
"win. For unexcelled art in raiment, me young friend here might be said
to be the only competitor. For rare physical beauty and winning charm
in looks, unaided by mere externals, me friend and fellow-citizen,
James, gets the just reward, and for pure, manly beauty of the soul,
truth, which I always follow, compels me to give the prize to me humble
self."
"Aw," growled James, "this ain’t no show. We will have another."
The Watermelon hitched up his trousers and chose a clean seat on a
fallen log. When coat and trousers legs were adjusted so as best to
keep their faultless creases, he spoke with the bored accents of the
weary scion of great wealth.
"I’m starting for a motor tour with some of me friends," said he.
"I," said Mike, "have always felt for you as for a dear and only son."
"Gwan," said James imperiously. "Where did you get the glad rags?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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