Satire, English; Upper class -- England -- Fiction
The succession of these thoughts in the mind of the Squire was
commensurate in rapidity to the progress of the ignition, which having
reached its extremity, the explosion took place, and the shattered
rock was hurled into the air in the midst of fire and smoke.
Mr Milestone had properly calculated the force of the explosion; for
the tower remained untouched: but the Squire, in his consolatory
reflections, had omitted the consideration of the influence of sudden
fear, which had so violent an effect on Mr Cranium, who was just
commencing a speech concerning the very fine prospect from the top of
the tower, that, cutting short the thread of his observations, he
bounded, under the elastic influence of terror, several feet into the
air. His ascent being unluckily a little out of the perpendicular, he
descended with a proportionate curve from the apex of his projection,
and alighted not on the wall of the tower, but in an ivy-bush by its
side, which, giving way beneath him, transferred him to a tuft of
hazel at its base, which, after upholding him an instant, consigned
him to the boughs of an ash that had rooted itself in a fissure about
half way down the rock, which finally transmitted him to the waters
below.
Squire Headlong anxiously watched the tower as the smoke which at
first enveloped it rolled away; but when this shadowy curtain was
withdrawn, and Mr Panscope was discovered, _solus_, in a tragical
attitude, his apprehensions became boundless, and he concluded that
the unlucky collision of a flying fragment of rock had indeed
emancipated the spirit of the craniologist from its terrestrial
bondage.
Mr Escot had considerably outstripped his companions, and arrived at
the scene of the disaster just as Mr Cranium, being utterly destitute
of natatorial skill, was in imminent danger of final submersion. The
deteriorationist, who had cultivated this valuable art with great
success, immediately plunged in to his assistance, and brought him
alive and in safety to a shelving part of the shore. Their landing was
hailed with a view-holla from the delighted Squire, who, shaking them
both heartily by the hand, and making ten thousand lame apologies to
Mr Cranium, concluded by asking, in a pathetic tone, _How much water
he had swallowed?_ and without waiting for his answer, filled a large
tumbler with Madeira, and insisted on his tossing it off, which was no
sooner said than done. Mr Jenkison and Mr Foster now made their
appearance. Mr Panscope descended the tower, which he vowed never
again to approach within a quarter of a mile. The tumbler of Madeira
was replenished, and handed round to recruit the spirits of the party,
which now began to move towards Headlong Hall, the Squire capering for
joy in the van, and the little fat butler waddling in the rear.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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