American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American; West (U.S.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
“I never had believed in harming sheep men. I see one, one day, reading
a Latin grammar on hossback, and I never touched him! They never
irritated me like they do most cowmen. You wouldn’t go to work now, and
impair and disfigure snoozers, would you, that eat on tables and wear
little shoes and speak to you on subjects? I had always let ’em pass,
just as you would a jack-rabbit; with a polite word and a guess about
the weather, but no stopping to swap canteens. I never thought it was
worth while to be hostile with a snoozer. And because I’d been lenient,
and let ’em live, here was one going around riding with Miss Willella
Learight!
“An hour by sun they come loping back, and stopped at Uncle Emsley’s
gate. The sheep person helped her off; and they stood throwing each
other sentences all sprightful and sagacious for a while. And then this
feathered Jackson flies up in his saddle and raises his little stewpot
of a hat, and trots off in the direction of his mutton ranch. By this
time I had turned the sand out of my boots and unpinned myself from the
prickly pear; and by the time he gets half a mile out of Pimienta, I
singlefoots up beside him on my bronc.
“I said that snoozer was pink-eyed, but he wasn’t. His seeing
arrangement was grey enough, but his eye-lashes was pink and his hair
was sandy, and that gave you the idea. Sheep man?—he wasn’t more than a
lamb man, anyhow—a little thing with his neck involved in a yellow silk
handkerchief, and shoes tied up in bowknots.
“‘Afternoon!’ says I to him. ‘You now ride with a equestrian who is
commonly called Dead-Moral-Certainty Judson, on account of the way I
shoot. When I want a stranger to know me I always introduce myself
before the draw, for I never did like to shake hands with ghosts.’
“‘Ah,’ says he, just like that—‘Ah, I’m glad to know you, Mr. Judson.
I’m Jackson Bird, from over at Mired Mule Ranch.’
“Just then one of my eyes saw a roadrunner skipping down the hill with
a young tarantula in his bill, and the other eye noticed a rabbit-hawk
sitting on a dead limb in a water-elm. I popped over one after the
other with my forty-five, just to show him. ‘Two out of three,’ says I.
‘Birds just naturally seem to draw my fire wherever I go.’
“‘Nice shooting,’ says the sheep man, without a flutter. ‘But don’t you
sometimes ever miss the third shot? Elegant fine rain that was last
week for the young grass, Mr. Judson?’ says he.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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