Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Pacifism -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- United States -- Fiction
When she saw that he was awake, she smiled, and this seemed to the
Inger the most marvellous thing that ever had befallen him: that she
was there and that she smiled.
He looked at her silently, and slowly under the even brownness of
his skin, the color rose from his throat to his forehead, and burned
crimson. But more than this color of shame, it was his eyes that told.
They were upon her, brown, deep, like the eyes of a dog that has
disobeyed, and has come back. For a moment he looked at her, then he
dropped his face in his hands.
She moved so quietly that he did not hear her rise. He merely felt her
hand on his shoulder. And when he looked up again, she was sitting
there beside him.
“Don’t,” she said.
He looked at her in amazement. Her look was gentle, her voice had been
gentle.
“You mustn’t,” she said. “It’s all over now.”
“What do you think of me? What do you think of me?” he muttered,
stupidly.
She shrugged lightly. “It don’t make any difference what I think of
you,” she said. “Ain’t it whether I’m goin’ to get away from Inch or
not? Ain’t that the idea?”
When he came to think of it, that was the immediate concern. With his
first utterance he had blundered, as he had blundered since the moment
when she had put herself in his keeping. None the less his misery was
too sharp to dismiss. But he had no clear idea how to ask a woman’s
forgiveness—a thing that he had never done in his life.
“I feel as bad as hell,” he blurted out.
“What for?” she asked.
“For all I’ve done,” he put it.
She considered this.
“Look here,” she said slowly. “You’ve been drunk before often enough,
ain’t you?”
“Yes,” he answered, miserably.
“Well, don’t feel bad about this just because I mixed up in it,” she
said. “I’m used to it. I see Dad and all of ’em drunk more times ’n I
see ’em sober.”
He looked away from her.
“I wasn’t thinking just about being drunk,” he said. “I meant—what I
said to you.”
“Oh—that!” she said. “Well. All men say that, I guess.” She looked at
him. “I did guess you was differ’nt, but I ought to knowed better.”
Then in a flash of intense joy, he remembered what she had said to him
in the hut. Her words came back as if she were speaking them again: “I
didn’t know no woman I could tell. Nor no other decent man.” Once more
the warmth of this was upon him, within him. Then the recollection of
how he had failed her invaded him in an anguish new, impossible to
combat. For she had thought that he was different from Jem Moor and
Bunchy....
The Inger got to his feet.
“I _am_ differ’nt,” he heard himself surprisingly saying.
She regarded him curiously, and with nothing in her eyes. It came to
him as he stood looking down at her, that he would give all that might
be asked if he could have seen her eyes as she looked up at him in the
hut the night before and told him why she had come to him to help her.
In the face of what had happened, the foolishness of protesting that he
was different overcame him, and he fell silent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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