To say that I looked at Toddie reprovingly is to express my feelings in
the most inadequate language, but of language in which to express my
feelings to Toddie, I could find absolutely none. Within two or three
short moments I had discovered how very anxious I really was to merit
Miss Mayton’s regard, and how very different was the regard I wanted
from that which I had previously hoped might be accorded me. It seemed
too ridiculous to be true that I, who had for years had dozens of
charming lady acquaintances, and yet had always maintained my common
sense and self-control; I, who had always considered it unmanly for a
man to specially interest himself in _any_ lady until he had an income
of five thousand a year; I, who had skilfully, and many times, argued
that life attachments, or attempts thereat, which were made without a
careful preliminary study of the mental characteristics of the partner
desired, were the most unpardonable folly,—_I_ had transgressed every
one of my own rules, and, as if to mock me for any pretended wisdom and
care, my weakness was made known to me by a three-year-old marplot and
a hideous rag doll!
That merciful and ennobling dispensation by which Providence enables us
to temper the severity of our own sufferings by alleviating those of
others, came soon to my rescue. Under my stern glance, Toddie gradually
lost interest in his doll and its cradle, and began to thrust forth and
outward his piteous lower lip, and to weep copiously.
“Dee Lord not make me sho bad,” he cried through his tears. I doubt
his having had any very clear idea of what he was saying, or whom he
was addressing; but had the publican of whose prayer Toddie made so
fair a paraphrase worn such a face when he offered his famous petition,
it could not have been denied for a moment. Toddie even retired to a
corner, and hid his face in self-imposed penance.
“Never mind, Toddie,” said I sadly; “you didn’t mean to do it, I know.”
“I wantsh to love you,” sobbed Toddie.
“Well, come here, you poor little fellow,” said I, opening my arms, and
wondering whether ’twas not after contemplation of some such sinner
that good Bishop Tegner wrote:—
“Depths of love are atonement’s depths, for love is atonement.”
Toddie came to my arms, shed tears freely upon my shirt-front, and
finally, after heaving a very long sigh, remarked:—
“Wantsh _you_ to love _me_.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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