After awhile he returned these papers to the drawer and addressed
himself to one of the dusty manuals of jurisprudence that adorned his
table. But strange shapes were in his mind to-night; and these would
not be harnessed to the dead letter of the law. A torrent had been
unloosed which bore his thoughts in every direction save that in which
he would have them go. After a time the lamp burned so low that it was
no longer necessary to make a pretence at reading. Therefore he closed
the book and lifted up his ears to the night. The faint, consistent
drip drip of the water from the ceiling to the pool it had formed
on the floor stole upon him with a sense of the uncanny. The room
itself was draughty and decrepit, and in common with others in that
neighborhood, particularly on the waterside, was inhabited by rats. He
could hear them now in the crevices behind the wainscot. He took from
the table a piece of lead which he used as a paper-weight, and waited
grimly for one to appear.
Crouching upon the hearth with this deadly instrument in his hand, his
thoughts strayed again to the country, again to his mother, and from
her to the young girl whom he had hoped to make his wife. This slender
and straight and joyous creature, with the supple limbs of a fawn and
complexion of a dairymaid, had the seemliness and purity which was so
essential in one who would be called to the function of completing his
life. She was as sweet and choice as a lily, for her only gift was the
serenity which has its seat in superb physical health and freedom from
the penalties that wait upon intelligence.
She had seen nothing, knew nothing; there was nothing for her to
see or to know. Her simplicity was so naïve that it was a perennial
delight to a sophisticated nature. He never summoned her image except
to cherish it. In his direst mood, in his straitest hour, when life
blew barb after barb into his skin, he felt that to possess her was
to keep a talisman in his spirit which could unweave the knots in the
conspiracies of fate. Those lines in her shape, those curves which were
so arch, so free, yet qualified so finely, seemed to bring healing and
refinement to him; while those eyes, soft and luminous, yet lacking in
expression, seemed to chasten his power without impairing it.
At this moment a sound for which he had been listening broke his
reverie. An enormous she-rat, heavy with young, entered the room. He
watched it waddle out of a dark corner and emerge slowly towards him
along the floor. As it came near he could discern the gleam of its red
eyes, its nose, its wide-spreading whiskers. They filled him with an
indescribable ferocity. He poised the piece of lead in his hand, and
took aim with close-breathing and deliberate care. Suddenly he hurled
it with the strength of a giant, the creature was struck in the flank
and lay dead before it knew that anything had occurred.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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