He must not barter his hunger for a feast such as that. No ray of
meaning ever invaded this crapulous Barmecide. All that he saw was
that the color of money was yellow; all that he knew was that its
possession oiled the wheels of life. The starving man crouched upon his
knees and buried his burning face in the dust of the table. He must
make his apology to Nature for having reviled her. Nothing was more
imperfect than this handmaid; yet how patient, how obedient was this
Unanswering One! She did not deserve to be abused. For all at once,
with a prophetic shudder of his doom, he recognized that he had only to
make his demand of her to receive all that he asked.
If his nature craved the material, let him seek it and it should be
given. He need not starve in his garret; his prayers would be heard. If
Success with all her penalties must be his, let him prostrate himself
before her; was she not a courtezan that none need to woo in vain?
But crouching thus in wretchedness, his frame shivering and burning
by turns, the price of such a triumph was before his eyes, written in
garish letters upon the dismal walls. He was hungry to the point of
death almost, yet if he satisfied that hunger with a mess of pottage he
would be destroyed.
How unhappy is he who becomes the witness of his own dread passions
determining an issue on the battle-ground of his nature! If the mere
act of volition was still to remain with him, the choice must be made;
yet if he made that which had grown so imminent he would lose whatever
status or sanction he derived from the elevation of his aims. This
bundle of forces within him, to whom after all he held the master-key
did he but dare to use it, was driving him pitilessly. Already he
seemed to be losing his fineness of perception. The point at issue
was already half-erased. Those immensely powerful engines which drove
the blood so furiously through his veins were in revolt. Let him find
employment for them; let them fulfil their appointed ends, or woe
betide him.
He had only to press his eyes to the table to summon the genie.
Occasion would wait upon him if he sank to his knees. Let him harness
his will to his common needs and the power would be rendered to him
to achieve them. His imagination had no trammels; it was burning with
a volcanic activity; by its light he could enter any kingdom in the
material world. Let him ask, and all should be given.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account