England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction
Mildred's soft, womanly nature was capable of only one response to such
a demand. Assent was more than probable, and bordered on certainty, even
before the letter was laid aside, and while her cheek was yet paling at
the thought of new responsibilities and the vast unknown, wherein duty
must tread on the heel of inclination, and life must press out thought
and the worn-out furrows of intro- and retrospection.
And so it was that the page of a negative existence was turned; and
Mildred agreed to become the inmate of her brother's home.
'Aunt Milly!' How pleasant it would be to hear that again, and to be in
the centre of warm young life and breathless activity, after the torpor
of long waiting and watching, and the hush and the blank and the
drawn-out pain, intense yet scarcely felt, of the last seven years.
To begin life in its fulness at eight-and-twenty; to taste of its real
sweets and bitters, after it had offered to her nothing but the pale
brackish flavour of regret for a passing youth and wasted powers,
responsive rather than suggestive (if there be such monstrous anomaly on
the whole face of God's creation), nothing being wasted, and all
pronounced good, that comes direct from the Divine Hand. To follow fresh
tracks when the record of the years had left nothing but the traces of
the chariot-wheels of daily monotonous duties that dragged heavily, when
summer and winter and seed-time and harvest found Mildred still through
those seven revolving courses of seasons within the walls of that quiet
sickroom.
It is given to some women to look back on these long level blanks of
life; on mysteries of waiting, that intervene between youth and work,
when the world's noise comes dimly to them, like the tumult of city's
streets through closed shutters; when pain and hardship seem preferable
to their death-in-life, and they long to prove the armour that has grown
rusted with disuse.
How many a volume could be written, and with profit, on the watchers as
well as the workers of life, on the bystanders as well as the sufferers.
'Patient hearts their pain to see.' Well has this thought been embodied
in the words of a nineteenth-century Christian poet; while to many a
pallid malcontent, wearied with inaction and panting for strife, might
the Divine words still be applied: 'Could ye not have watched with Me
one hour?'
Mildred Lambert's life for eight-and-twenty years might be summed up in
a few sentences. A happy youth, scarcely clouded by the remembrance of a
dead father and the graves of the sisters that came between her infancy
and the maturer age of her only brother; and then the blurred brightness
when Arnold, who had married before he had taken orders, became the
hard-working vicar of a remote Westmorland parish--and he and his wife
and children passed out of Milly's daily life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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