Calvin had already said more than once that he would return to Geneva, but he had not yet fulfilled his intention. Even the powerful voice of Farel had not succeeded in getting him to set out, but it had called forth a touching expression of his humility. ‘Certainly,’ said he to Farel, ‘the thunders and lightnings which thou didst hurl so wonderfully at me have disturbed and terrified me. Thou knowest that I extremely dread this call, but I do not fly from it. Why then fall upon me with so much violence as almost to abjure thy friendship? Thou tellest me that my last letter deprived thee of all hope. If it be so, forgive, I pray thee, my imprudence. My purpose was simply to apologize for not going immediately. I hope that thou wilt forgive me.’[89] It is beautiful to see this great man, this strong character, humbling himself with so much simplicity before Farel, as a child would do before a father. Doubtless, like Paul on the road to Damascus, he had at first _kicked against the pricks_. But, ‘oxen,’ says he, ‘gain nothing by so doing, except the increase of their own suffering; and just in the same way when men fight and kick against Christ, they must—whether they will or not—submit to his commandment.’[90] When speaking to Farel of his struggles, Calvin had from the first also indicated the source of his strength and his victory. ‘I should be at no loss for pretexts,’ he said, ‘which I might adroitly put forward, and which would easily serve for excuses before men. But I know that it is God with whom I have to do, and that artifices of that sort are not right in his sight. Wouldst thou know my very thought, it is this—Were I free to choose, I would do any thing in the world rather than what thou requirest of me. But, when I remember that I am not in this matter my own master, I PRESENT MY HEART AS A SACRIFICE AND OFFER IT UP TO THE LORD.[91] _Having bound and chained my soul, I bring it under the obedience of God._‘[92] This is Calvin. The words which we have underlined are essential as the explanation not only of the resolution which he took at this time, but also of his whole life. They may be considered as his motto.[93] [Sidenote: Departure From Strasburg.]