Hobson's Choice: A Lancashire Comedy in Four ActsBrighouse, Harold
General
Hobson's Choice: A Lancashire Comedy in Four Acts
Brighouse, Harold
English drama -- 20th century; Fathers and daughters -- Drama; Sisters -- Drama
HOBSON. I've been telling you for the last five minutes you're not even
fit to choose dresses for yourselves.
MAGGIE. You're talking a lot to Vickey and Alice, father. Where do I
come in?
HOBSON. You? (_Turning on her, astonished_.)
MAGGIE. If you're dealing husbands round, don't I get one?
HOBSON. Well, that's a good one! (_Laughs_.) You with a husband! (_Down
in front of desk_.)
MAGGIE. Why not?
HOBSON. Why not? I thought you'd sense enough to know. But if you want
the brutal truth, you're past the marrying age. You're a proper old
maid, Maggie, if ever there was one.
MAGGIE. I'm thirty.
HOBSON (_facing her_). Aye, thirty and shelved. Well, all the women
can't get husbands. But you others, now. I've told you. I'll have less
uppishness from you or else I'll shove you off my hands on to some other
men. You can just choose which way you like. (_He picks up hat and makes
for door_.)
MAGGIE. One o'clock dinner, father.
HOBSON. See here, Maggie,--(_back again down to in front of desk_)--I
set the hours at this house. It's one o'clock dinner because I say it
is, and not because you do.
MAGGIE. Yes, father.
HOBSON. So long as that's clear I'll go. (_He is by door_.) Oh no, I
won't. Mrs. Hepworth's getting out of her carriage.
(_He puts hat on counter again_. MAGGIE _rises and opens door. Enter_
MRS. HEPWORTH, _an old lady with a curt manner and good clothes_.)
Good morning, Mrs. Hepworth. What a lovely day. (_He crosses_ R. _and
places chair_.)
MRS. HEPWORTH (_sitting in arm-chair_ R. C.). Morning, Hobson. (_She
raises her skirt_.) I've come about those boots you sent me home.
HOBSON (_kneeling on_ MRS. HEPWORTH'S R., _and fondling foot_. MAGGIE
_is_ C.). Yes, Mrs. Hepworth. They look very nice.
MRS. HEPWORTH. Get up, Hobson. (_He scrambles up, controlling his
feelings_.) You look ridiculous on the floor. Who made these boots?
HOBSON. We did. Our own make.
MRS. HEPWORTH. Will you answer a plain question? Who made these boots?
HOBSON. They were made on the premises.
MRS. HEPWORTH (_to_ MAGGIE). Young woman, you seemed to have some sense
when you served me. Can you answer me?
MAGGIE. I think so, but I'll make sure for you, Mrs. Hepworth. (_She
opens trap and calls_.) Tubby!
HOBSON (_down_ R.). You wish to see the identical workman, madam?
MRS. HEPWORTH. I said so.
HOBSON. I am responsible for all work turned out here.
MRS. HEPWORTH. I never said you weren't.
(TUBBY WADLOW _comes up trap. A white-haired little man with thin legs
and a paunch, in dingy clothes with no collar and a coloured cotton
shirt. He has no coat on_.)
TUBBY. Yes, Miss Maggie? (_He stands half out of trap, not coming right
up_.)
MRS. HEPWORTH. Man, did you make these boots? (_She rises and advances
one pace towards him_.)
TUBBY. No, ma'am.
MRS. HEPWORTH. Then who did? Am I to question every soul in the place
before I find out? (_Looking round_.)
TUBBY. They're Willie's making, those.
MRS. HEPWORTH. Then tell Willie I want him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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