Hobson's Choice: A Lancashire Comedy in Four ActsBrighouse, Harold
General
Hobson's Choice: A Lancashire Comedy in Four Acts
Brighouse, Harold
English drama -- 20th century; Fathers and daughters -- Drama; Sisters -- Drama
TUBBY. Certainly, ma'am. (_He goes down trap and calls_ "Willie!")
MRS. HEPWORTH. Who's Willie?
HOBSON. Name of Mossop, madam. But if there is anything wrong I assure
you I'm capable of making the man suffer for it. I'll--
(WILLIE MOSSOP _comes up trap. He is a lanky fellow, about thirty, not
naturally stupid but stunted mentally by a brutalized childhood. He is a
raw material of a charming man, but, at present, it requires a very keen
eye to detect his potentialities. His clothes are an even poorer edition
of_ TUBBY'S. _He comes half-way up trap_.)
MRS. HEPWORTH (_standing_ R. _of trap_). Are you Mossop?
WILLIE. Yes, mum.
MRS. HEPWORTH. You made these boots?
WILLIE (_peering at them_). Yes, I made them last week.
MRS. HEPWORTH. Take that.
(WILLIE, _bending down, rather expects "that" to be a blow. Then he
raises his head and finds she is holding out a visiting card. He takes
it_.)
See what's on it?
WILLIE (_bending over the card_). Writing?
MRS. HEPWORTH. Read it.
WILLIE. I'm trying. (_His lips move as he tries to spell it out_.)
MRS. HEPWORTH. Bless the man. Can't you read?
WILLIE. I do a bit. Only it's such funny print.
MRS. HEPWORTH. It's the usual italics of a visiting card, my man. Now
listen to me. I heard about this shop, and what I heard brought me here
for these boots. I'm particular about what I put on my feet.
HOBSON (_moving slightly towards her_). I assure you it shall not occur
again, Mrs. Hepworth.
MRS. HEPWORTH. What shan't?
HOBSON (_crestfallen_). I--I don't know.
MRS. HEPWORTH. Then hold your tongue. Mossop, I've tried every shop in
Manchester, and these are the best-made pair of boots I've ever had.
Now, you'll make my boots in future. You hear that, Hobson?
(MAGGIE, _down_ L. C., _is taking it all in_.)
HOBSON. Yes, madam, of course he shall.
MRS. HEPWORTH. You'll keep that card, Mossop, and you won't dare leave
here to go to another shop without letting me know where you are.
HOBSON. Oh, he won't make a change.
MRS. HEPWORTH. How do you know? The man's a treasure, and I expect you
underpay him.
HOBSON. That'll do, Willie. You can go.
WILLIE. Yes, sir.
(_He dives down trap_. MAGGIE _closes it_.)
MRS. HEPWORTH. He's like a rabbit.
MAGGIE. Can I take your order for another pair of boots, Mrs. Hepworth?
MRS. HEPWORTH. Not yet, young woman. But I shall send my daughters here.
And, mind you, that man's to make the boots. (_She crosses_ L.)
MAGGIE. (_Up at doors and opening them_.) Certainly, Mrs. Hepworth.
MRS. HEPWORTH. Good morning.
HOBSON. Good morning, Mrs. Hepworth. Very glad to have the honour of
serving you, madam. (_Following her up_.)
(_She goes out_.)
(_Angry_.) I wish some people would mind their own business. What does
she want to praise a workman to his face for? (_Moves down_ L. _and then
to_ C.)
MAGGIE. I suppose he deserved it.
HOBSON. Deserved be blowed! Making them uppish. That's what it is. Last
time she puts her foot in my shop, I give you my word.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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