Hoiman and the Solar CircuitDewey, G. Gordon (George Gordon)
Science
Hoiman and the Solar Circuit
Dewey, G. Gordon (George Gordon)
Science fiction; Short stories; Wrestlers -- Fiction; Wrestling -- Fiction
"The word," I repeated, "is _cuts_. And the blow is not illegal." I
gave my eyes another treat. What a chassis. And _what_ a mind.
"Anything these days, so long as you don't kill your opponent, is
legal in wrestling."
Suddenly we had company: a little man who made scarcely a sound as he
slid into my booth and sat facing me. "Rassling, yet," he said, in
bitter tones. "What a woid. Dun't be saying it." He helped himself to
a cigarette from my pack lying on the table, and put the pack in his
pocket. He lit the cigarette, using my lighter, which he held a moment
longer than necessary before replacing it--regretfully--on the table.
He inhaled deeply. "Rassling!" he repeated. "Leave us not discuss it."
* * * * *
He was thin, haggard, unkempt, and his brown suit--in which the chalk
stripes were beginning to blend with the background--was threadbare.
He needed a shave, and his fingernails were dirty. He was vaguely
familiar. The beady little eyes flicked up at me, and all uncertainty
dissolved.
"Oh, no!" I said. "Not you. Not--"
He exhaled a great cloud of smoke. "Hoiman Katz," he said, in dejected
tones. "It is me, again. The same as like always, only not so better."
He sighed.
Sherry's tongue had been shifting from one foot to the other, waiting
for an opening. "Are you a wrestler, Mr. Katz?" she asked brightly.
Hoiman half rose from his seat, and the cigarette dropped from his lax
mouth. Then he slumped down again, spread his hands, shrugged, and
said, "Now I esk you!"
Sherry said, "I guess not." Then, "Shall I bring you something?" Her
eyes were on me as she asked. She hadn't worked on Vine Street for six
years without learning the ropes--about people at least.
I nodded.
Katz was waiting for the nod. He licked his lips. "I'll have a--"
"Planet Punch?"
"No. I'll have a--"
"Solar Sling? Martian Mule?"
Hoiman's eyes squinted shut, and he winced eloquently. "Martian!" he
groaned. "With rassling, too! Bring me a bottle of beer. Two bottles!"
After a moment he peered cautiously through slitted lids. "Is she
gone?" he whispered. "Such woids. Rassling. Martian. Better I should
have stood in Hollywood."
I laughed. "What's the matter with wrestling, Hoiman? Last I heard you
were managing a good boy--what was his name?"
"Killer Coogan? That bum!"
I had to do some thinking back. "Yeah," I said, "that's the boy.
Started wrestling back in the fifties. Good crowd pleaser. Took the
Junior Heavyweight Championship from Brickbuster Bates. Had a trick
hold he called the pretzel bend--hard to apply, but good for a
submission every time when he clamped it on. Right?"
"Okay, so he won some bouts with it. But that was twenty-five years
ago. He's slower, can't use that holt any more. We ain't had no main
events for a long time, and my bum is a big eater, see?"
"So?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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