Hoiman and the Solar CircuitDewey, G. Gordon (George Gordon)
Science
Hoiman and the Solar Circuit
Dewey, G. Gordon (George Gordon)
Science fiction; Short stories; Wrestlers -- Fiction; Wrestling -- Fiction
It takes me two weeks, (Hoiman continued), to ballyhoo up a bout, line
up another bum, fix up the ring and hall and everything. We was down
to our last lettuce that night. I gets my bum by the ear, and I tells
him, I says, make it a good show. But don't take no chances--this is
winner take all, and we better not lose. Don't use your pretzel bend
unlessen you have to.
This bum we rassle was a big miner, see?--hard as the rocks he juggles
around in the daytime. He was stronger'n my bum, but he don't know
nothing about rassling. My bum tried a step-over toehold on him, but
he knows how to kick. My bum goes through the ropes. He don't try that
no more.
They rassle around, and eight minutes later my bum takes first fall
with a body press after flattening the miner with a hard knee lift. I
told my bum to let him take the second fall, which he does. The big
miner gets a head scissors on him and like to moiders him before he
can submit.
Ray isn't liking it, and he takes the third one quick with a abominal
stretch, which surprises the big guy and takes all the fight outa him.
He didn't know they was holts like that, and he passes the word around
that my bum has plenty moxie. So we get only one more bout on the
Moon--but outa the two we get enough scratch to take us to Venus.
Hoiman paused, trying hard to pour more beer out of the empty second
bottle. He licked his lips like they were real dry, and his beady eyes
flicked a glance at me that came and went as fast as the tip of a
swinging rapier. I signalled Sherry to bring two more bottles of beer.
Hoiman relaxed, sighed, gazing almost affectionately at the new crop
of french fries which had appeared suddenly in his clutching fist.
Sherry, still pouting, came with the beer, and ten seconds later
Hoiman was talking again.
We did okay on Venus, (he said). Before long I have a regular little
circuit woiked up in the three spaceports, and they is plenty bums
there what think they can rassle. Some of them can--my bum has to use
his pretzel bend oftener and oftener. He's lucky, and he don't slip
none clamping it on--at first.
I have ta tell you about them Venusians. Them dustlanders, I mean.
They got big flat wide feet for padding through the dust, and their
noses are like a big spongy thing all over their puss, to filter the
dust out. So they got no expression on their pans. A guy like me,
which has got a real expressive face, could get the willies just
looking at them. And their eyes--round and flat, big as silver
dollars.
Them dustlanders was nuts about rassling. They flock to the rassling
shows and buy good seats. They don't do no hollering and waving like
people do. Just sit there, staring out of them big flat eyes and
making funny _chuffing_ noises at each other when some bum would get a
good hold on the other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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