This extract is important as showing that when a mere child, knowing
nothing of the fatal drug, he had visions similar to those which filled
his after years. At Oxford he had begun the use of opium--but his first
vision was a repetition of one of his childish years, and it leads us to
infer that his own vivid imagination bore an important part in the
brilliant dreams which followed his taking of opium. No person of
ordinary mind could induce those gorgeous and bewildering dreams by its
use. In his case the drug acted upon a mind fitted to see visions and
dream dreams even without its use; and the result was that gorgeous and
bewildering phantasmagoria which he so eloquently describes.
The causes of his first indulging in opium may be briefly glanced at
here. At seventeen, he ran away from the school at which he had been
placed by his guardians, his father now being dead. He wished to enter
college at once, and it appears was well prepared to do so, and had made
earnest representations to his guardians upon the subject, as he was
unhappy where he was, and under a very unsuitable master. But they would
not consent, and, like one of his brothers who ran away from school and
went to sea, he borrowed a little money and stole quietly away to
Wales.
The brother had left school, it appears, with good reason, being
brutally treated; but in the case of Thomas there seems to have been no
complaint of real ill-usage. It was simply one of the wilful freaks of a
precocious and fantastic boy. He wandered in Wales for a few weeks,
until his money was nearly spent, and then contrived to get to London,
where he suffered the cruellest pangs of poverty, although he was a
young gentleman of independent fortune. It is difficult for a
matter-of-fact and well-balanced mind to conceive of an experience just
like that of De Quincey. Why he should have allowed himself to starve
rather than communicate with his friends, we are not told,--it could
scarcely have been pride, for he accepted help even from strangers when
it was offered,--and why he did not seek some of the friends of his
family in the city we are not informed, but such was the fact.
He tells the story thus:--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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