"And now began the later and fiercer stage of my long sufferings;
without using a disproportionate expression, I might say of my
agony. For I now suffered for upwards of sixteen weeks the physical
anguish of hunger in various degrees of intensity, but as bitter,
perhaps, as ever any human being can have suffered who has survived
it. I would not needlessly harass my readers' feelings by a detail
of all that I endured; for extremities such as these, under any
circumstances of heaviest misconduct or guilt, cannot be
contemplated, even in description, without a rueful pity that is
painful to the natural goodness of the human heart. Let it suffice
to say that a few fragments of bread from the breakfast table of
one individual, and these at uncertain intervals, constituted my
whole support. . . . I was houseless, and seldom slept under a
roof."
After a time, however, he slept in an unoccupied house, or unoccupied
save by a child of ten years,--as forlorn as himself. She slept here,
and was much tormented by the fear of ghosts. She hailed his advent with
great pleasure as a protection from supernatural visitants; and when the
weather became cold, he used to hold her in his arms that she might
gain the additional comfort of a little warmth. He says they lay upon
the floor "with a bundle of cursed law papers for a pillow, and no
covering save an old cloak." He slept only from exhaustion, and could
hear himself moaning in his sleep; but his little companion, relieved of
fear, and perhaps a little better fed than he, slept soundly and well at
all times. He learned to love the poor child as his partner in
wretchedness. He made also one other friend, a girl of the streets,
named Ann, who was kind to him, and whom he remembered with gratitude to
the end of his life. He says of her:--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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