The proprietor of the handsome donkey, who led us into this statistical reverie, informed us—and he was corroborated by his friend—that the only certainty was the red-herring and periwinkle trade; but then the competition was so werry great. “_I_ don’t know how it is,” he observed, “but people’ll buy salt things with all the wirtue dried out on ’em, but——” “That’s because they has a relish,” interrupted the Mentor. “But fresh fish,” renewed the other gentleman, with a glance of displeasure at being interrupted; “fresh fish—all alive, as we cries ’em—fresh fish, mind you!—they can’t abear!” We also learnt from these gentlemen that the professors of the Hebrew faith were the only constant fish-eaters. “And wy?” continued the councillor, “cos when they eats fish, they thinks they’re a fasting!” This reminding us that we were actually fasting, we complimented our friend on his donkey (which he assured us was a ‘Moke’ of the reg’lar Tantivy breed), and having completed the filling of our basket, were about to return home to breakfast, with an excellent appetite, and a high respect for the manners of modern fishmongers, when he hailed us easily with, “Halloa, you Sir!” We went back. “I tell you wot,” he said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder, in the direction of the Market Tavern,—“but p’raps you have though.” “Have what?” said we. “Dined at Simpson’s, the Fish Hord’n’ry,” said he. “Never,” said we. “Do it!” said he. “You go and have a tuck-out at Simpson’s at four o’clock in the arternoon (wen me and my old ooman is a going to take our tea, with a winkle or wot not) and you’ll come out as bright as a star, and as sleek as this here Moke.” We thanked him for his hint towards the improvement of our personal appearance, which was a little dilapidated at that hour of the morning, and were so much impressed by the possibility of rivalling the Moke, that we returned at four o’clock in the afternoon, and climbed up to the first floor of Mr. Simpson’s house. A glance at the clock assured us that Mr. Simpson was a genius. He kept it back ten minutes, to give stragglers a last chance. Already, the long table down the whole length of the long low room was nearly full, and people were sitting at a side table, looking out through windows, like stern-windows aboard ship, at flapping sails, and rigging. The host was in the chair, with a wooden hammer ready to his hand; and five several gentlemen, much excited by hunger and haste, who had run us down on the stairs, had leaped into seats, and were menacing expected turbots with their knives.