WID. (_Aside._) D--n the table. (_Lays the plates and dishes and places the chairs. Mary White gallants Mdlle. Cheri Bounce, apart. Widgetts, C., polishing a plate, furiously._) Here's a pleasant situation, waiter at my own supper, and afraid to open my mouth. The rascal's making love to her, and she likes it! Hang 'em, I wish I could strangle them. (_Mary White and Mdlle. Cheri Bounce laughing._) CHERI. Oh, you droll wretch, you're ten times funnier than that stupid Widgetts. MARY. Hang Widgetts. WID. (_Coming between them._) I beg your pardon. MARY. What d'ye want? Is the table laid? WID. (_Aside._) D--n the table. (_Returns to table, and bawls out._) Supper's ready! MARY. Ah! (_To Cheri Bounce._) Come, my dear. (_Widgetts seats himself at table._) MARY. What! WID. (_Jumps up._) Beg pardon--I vacate. (_Mary White, R., and Cheri Bounce, L., seat themselves at table._) MARY. Now, my dear ma'amselle, here are fowl, and lobster, and kidneys. WID. (_Aside._) I wish they were sticking in his gizzard. MARY. Now then, waiter, be alive, and take your tin. (_Claps one of the dish covers on Widgetts' head, who snatches it off, and flings it away in a rage._) WID. Allow me to observe---- MARY. There's no bread, my good fellow. WID. Coming. (_Aside._) D--n the bread. (_Goes to a table at back, on which is a loaf of bread and rolls._) MARY. What part of the fowl shall I send you, ma'amselle? CHERI. The funny idea, Mr. Spraggs, if you please. MARY. The funny idea! Well, I never! CHERI. The merry thought, you know. MARY. Oh, to be sure! Yes, the funny idea. (_Cutting the fowl._) WID. Bread. (_Claps the loaf of bread on the dish before Mary White, who throws it at him._) MARY. Roll, stupid. Plates, waiter. (_Widgetts puts the roll under his arm, and hands plates to Mary White._) Allow me to add a kidney. They look beautiful. CHERI. Thank you. (_Mary White puts some fowl and a sausage on the plate, which she gives to Widgetts for Mdlle. Cheri Bounce, and then helps herself._) WID. (_Comes down with the plate in his hand._) How uncommon savoury it smells. He's not looking. (_Takes the kidney off the plate, and puts it in his pocket._) MARY. Waiter. (_Widgetts lays the plate before Mdlle. Cheri Bounce._) Open that champagne, waiter. WID. (_Aside._) My champagne, too! (_Opening a bottle of champagne._) MARY. (_Helps Mdlle. Cheri Bounce._) I hope you liked your kidney. CHERI. What kidney, Mr. Spraggs? WID. (_Snatching the kidney out of his pocket, and putting it, unperceived, on Mdlle. Cheri Bounce's plate._) Why, that kidney. CHERI. Dear me, I didn't perceive it before. (_Widgetts places champagne on the table._)