MARY. Celery, waiter. (_Widgetts goes to table at back for celery. Mary White fills two glasses of champagne, and drinks with Mdlle. Cheri Bounce. Widgetts returns with stalks of celery in his coat pocket, and, without being perceived, takes the champagne bottle, fills a glass for himself, comes down and drinks, R._) I say, Ma'amselle, this is rare fun. CHERI. Glorious! MARY. I'll give you, the absent Widgetts. CHERI. I've no objection to drink poor Widgetts' health, but I don't at all wish for his company. He's such a particularly conceited fool. WID. (_Aside, and scarcely able to restrain himself._) Do I look like a fool? (_They drink. Widgetts comes to the table._) As the sole surviving friend of Mr. Widgetts, will you allow me to say---- (_Presses the plate to his breast. Knock at door, L._) MARY. Hold your tongue and open the door. (_Mary White and Ma'amselle Cheri Bounce rise._) CHERI. Perhaps 'tis Widgetts. WID. No, it isn't. Widgetts is--elsewhere. (_Knocking at door, L._) BROWN. (_Outside door._) Open the door. I must come in. CHERI. Heavens! That's Brown's voice. If he finds me here I shall be ruined. (_Alarmed._) WID. Don't let him in. (_Runs to door, L._) CHERI. Where on earth can I conceal myself? Ah, here! (_Throws open folding doors. Widgetts stands transfixed with terror; Mdlle. Cheri Bounce screams in a state of dreadful alarm._) Oh, oh, oh! There's a woman drowned in the water-butt. MARY. 'Tis Mary White, the laundress. Widgetts murdered her. WID. I'll be d----d if he did! MARY. Never mind, he'll be hanged for it all the same. [_Exit through folding-doors which she closes after her._ WID. Widgetts hanged! You might as well hang me. CHERI. Good heavens! What a horrid place I've got into. (_Knocking at door, L., Brown outside calling_ "Let me in! Open the door.") Oh, that Brown will make another victim of _me!_ (_Runs into chamber, R._) _Enter BROWN, L._ BROWN. Where is she? Where's Mademoiselle Cheri Bounce? I know she's here. WID. I beg your pardon, she left here half an hour ago! I called the cab for her myself--a patent hansom, No. 749. BROWN. Where's Widgetts, then? Where's the villain Widgetts, the destroyer of my happiness? WID. My good fellow, don't be outrageous! Mr. Widgetts is unfortunately absent--he's gone to close the eyes of a dying uncle, and won't be back to-night. _Enter TWILL, L._ TWILL. Oh, please, sir, they wouldn't admit the order at the Adelphi! (_Sees Widgetts and bursts into a fit of laughter._) Ha, ha, ha, ha! Why surely this ain't Guy Faux day, Mr. Widgetts? BROWN. Widgetts! CHERI. (_At door, R._) Widgetts? (_Retires._) TWILL. Of course! That's Mr. Widgetts, my master; I'll never deny him. WID. (_Aside._) Then I've nothing for it but a bolt--out of my bedroom window. (_Rushes into chamber, R.; Mdlle. Cheri Bounce screams inside. Widgetts rushes out again followed by Mdlle. Cheri Bounce beating him with her umbrella._)