I forgot to inform him that I no longer had an address, and the
interview is over. I bow myself out, and leave. Hope flames up again in
me; as yet, nothing is lost--on the contrary, I might, for that matter,
yet win all. And my brain began to spin a romance about a great council
in Heaven, in which it had just been resolved that I should win--ay,
triumphantly win ten shillings for a story.
If I only had some place in which to take refuge for the night! I
consider where I can stow myself away, and am so absorbed in this query
that I come to a standstill in the middle of the street. I forget where
I am, and pose like a solitary beacon on a rock in mid-sea, whilst the
tides rush and roar about it.
A newspaper boy offers me _The Viking_.
"It's real good value, sir!"
I look up and start; I am outside Semb's shop again. I quickly turn to
the right-about, holding the parcel in front of me, and hurry down
Kirkegaden, ashamed and afraid that any one might have seen me from the
window. I pass by Ingebret's and the theatre, turn round by the
box-office, and go towards the sea, near the fortress. I find a seat
once more, and begin to consider afresh.
Where in the world shall I find a shelter for the night?
Was there a hole to be found where I could creep in and hide myself
till morning? My pride forbade my returning to my lodging--besides, it
could never really occur to me to go back on my word; I rejected this
thought with great scorn, and I smiled superciliously as I thought of
the little red rocking-chair. By some association of ideas, I find
myself suddenly transported to a large, double room I once occupied in
Haegdehaugen. I could see a tray on the table, filled with great slices
of bread-and-butter. The vision changed; it was transformed into
beef--a seductive piece of beef--a snow-white napkin, bread in plenty,
a silver fork. The door opened; enter my landlady, offering me more
tea....
Visions; senseless dreams! I tell myself that were I to get food now my
head would become dizzy once more, fever would fill my brain, and I
would have to fight again against many mad fancies. I could not stomach
food, my inclination did not lie that way; that was peculiar to me--an
idiosyncrasy of mine.
Maybe as night drew on a way could be found to procure shelter. There
was no hurry; at the worst, I could seek a place out in the woods. I
had the entire environs of the city at my disposal; as yet, there was
no degree of cold worth speaking of in the weather.
And outside there the sea rocked in drowsy rest; ships and clumsy,
broad-nosed prams ploughed graves in its bluish surface, and scattered
rays to the right and left, and glided on, whilst the smoke rolled up
in downy masses from the chimney-stacks, and the stroke of the engine
pistons pierced the clammy air with a dull sound. There was no sun and
no wind; the trees behind me were almost wet, and the seat upon which I
sat was cold and damp.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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