"I'll Leave It To You": A Light Comedy In Three Acts — John Shaqi
"I'll Leave It To You": A Light Comedy In Three ActsCoward, Noël
General
"I'll Leave It To You": A Light Comedy In Three Acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; Inheritance and succession -- Drama
MRS. CROMBIE. How much is he going to leave?
FAITH. I don't know, but it's sure to be a lot.
MRS. CROMBIE. Why?
FAITH. Well, he's a bachelor and--and he's been mining in South America.
MRS. CROMBIE. There are hundreds of bachelors in South America who are
absolutely penniless--whether they mine or not.
FAITH. You are horrid, mother. (_Sniffs._) I did feel so happy, and I
wanted you to be happy too.
MRS. CROMBIE (_with slight sarcasm_). It was sweet of you, dear. I
really can't work myself up to a high pitch of enthusiasm over an uncle
who though apparently in the last throes of a virulent disease is well
able to gallop backwards and forwards across the Atlantic gaily
arranging to leave an extremely problematic fortune to an extremely
scatter-brained young man.
FAITH. Bobbie isn't _scatter_-brained.
MRS. CROMBIE. The whole family is scatter-brained, and I expect the
uncle's the worst of the lot--he wouldn't have been sent to South
America otherwise.
FAITH. He wasn't _sent_, he went.
MRS. CROMBIE. How do you know? He probably did something disgraceful in
his youth and had to leave the country. Just like my brother, your Uncle
Percy. I'm certain there's a skeleton of some kind in this
family--anyhow he's sure not to die when we want him to.
FAITH. The doctor said three years.
MRS. CROMBIE. Only to frighten him, that's what doctors are for. I
believe they cured hundreds of cases in the army like that.
FAITH. Did they, mother.
MRS. CROMBIE. What's the matter with the man?
FAITH. I don't know.
MRS. CROMBIE. It strikes me, dear, that you had better find out a bit
more before you get engaged another time.
FAITH (_tearfully_). But I don't want to be engaged another time. I want
to be engaged this time. Oh, mother darling, won't you wait a little
while? Just _see_ the uncle. If you got him alone for a while you could
find out anything--you're always so clever at that sort of thing. Oh,
mother, do.
MRS. CROMBIE. I'll interview the man on one condition. That is that
whatever decision I may make you promise to abide by it afterwards.
FAITH (_rises_). Yes, mother, I promise. (_Kisses her, remains below
fireplace._)
MRS. CROMBIE. Now I suppose we had better join the rest, they're being
feverishly bright on the tennis lawn.
(_Enter_ MRS. DERMOTT _followed by_ EVANGELINE. MRS. DERMOTT
_motions to_ EVANGELINE _to pick up papers, who does so, placing
them on table._)
MRS. DERMOTT. Ah, there you are, Mrs. Crombie; you were bored with
watching tennis too. Of course Oliver and Joyce's efforts cannot really
be called tennis, but still it's an amusement for them. (_Sits in
armchair._) Have you seen my knitting anywhere, Vangy darling? I'm
certain I left it here.
(FAITH _sits on form_ R.)
EVANGELINE. You had it in the drawing-room before lunch. I'll go and
look.
(_Exit_ EVANGELINE R.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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