"I'll Leave It To You": A Light Comedy In Three ActsCoward, Noël
General
"I'll Leave It To You": A Light Comedy In Three Acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; Inheritance and succession -- Drama
SYLVIA. We can't think--she's the most irritating girl I've met for
years--and her mother's hateful, too.
DANIEL. Why are they here?
SYLVIA. Oh, Bobbie wanted them asked, and mother's much too sweet to
deny us anything in reason.
DANIEL. I shouldn't call Mrs. Crombie in reason--she's trying to pump
me.
SYLVIA. You are rather a mysterious person you know, uncle, I should
like to know lots more about you.
DANIEL. Everything about me is absolutely honourable and above board.
SYLVIA. I don't know that it is.
DANIEL. My dear Sylvia--you wound me, you grieve me--I feel deeply
pained. I----
SYLVIA (_laughing_). It's no use trying to bluster out of it, uncle, you
know as well as I do that it wasn't honourable of you to single me out
for your money without letting the others know anything about it.
DANIEL (_quickly_). You haven't told them, have you? (_Puts his feet
down._)
SYLVIA. No--I don't break _my_ word.
DANIEL. And I don't break mine, so you needn't be so sniffy.
SYLVIA. It is breaking it in a way to show favouritism.
DANIEL. I only told you in the very strictest confidence because I had
faith in you--trusted you....
SYLVIA. It was very sweet of you, uncle, but I don't think you should
have.
DANIEL. Well, after all, I... it's my money and surely I----
SYLVIA. You see, it's so terribly unfair to the others--of course they
don't know, and I shall never breathe a word, but, uncle, I do wish
you'd leave everything to one of them and not me--I shouldn't feel happy
for a moment with the money--not for a single moment if I'd known all
the time that I was going to get it. Rule me out of the list, there's a
dear--I'm earning an awful lot now, you know, on the films and I really
don't need any more--promise you'll do what I ask you?
DANIEL. I don't think you're quite in your right mind, but,
still--(_smiling_) I'll see.
SYLVIA. There, I knew you'd see what I meant and be a lamb. Now tell me
some of your adventures and things, and how you made the money.
DANIEL (_uncomfortably_). Really, I don't think that....
SYLVIA. It must be so glorious out there--mining and prospecting and--by
the way how does one prospect?
DANIEL. How does one prospect? When one prospects one scoops up water
from rivers and finds nuggets in one's hands--if one's lucky, of course.
SYLVIA. You don't seem to know very much about it, uncle.
DANIEL (_nettled_). On the contrary I know _all_ about it--but you
wouldn't understand if I went into technical details.
SYLVIA. I don't believe you would, either.
DANIEL (_rises and goes_ L.). I think, Sylvia, that this lack of trust
in your fellow-creatures is a very sinister trait in your character--you
must remember that I am a much older man than you are and----
SYLVIA. I'm not a man at all.
DANIEL (_turns_). Sometimes I wish you were, then I could tell you what
I really think of you.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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