London (England) -- Fiction; Satire; Suffragists -- Fiction
Following the suffragette, he bounded on to the first launch as eagerly
as though he were not a man of theory. Behind him bounded Courtesy, and
behind her Mrs. Paul Rust strove to bound. Courtesy, the gardener, and
the suffragette sat squeezed in a row upon a dirty seat in the launch.
Mrs. Rust, because sitting in a squeezed row was against her principles,
stood. By these means she kept many men-passengers standing in wistful
politeness during the whole journey of three miles to the shore.
The bay swept its wide arms farther and farther round them. The palm
trees on the promontories on either side of the town looked no longer
beckoning, but grasping.
“Oh, isn’t it good!” said the gardener, thrilling so that Courtesy and
the suffragette, by reason of compressed propinquity, had to thrill too.
He took the suffragette’s hand violently, and waggled it to and fro.
“Isn’t it fine ...” and he jumped his feet upon the deck.
“You babies,” said Courtesy. For the suffragette, even though she did
not jump her feet, was jumping her eyes, and obviously jumping the heart
in her breast. Most unorthodox for a snake.
“We shall run head foremost into the wharf,” said Mrs. Rust in a final
voice. “What a pity it is that sailors never know their work.”
“Yes, isn’t it,” agreed the gardener, as if he had been longing to say
something of the sort. “Extraordinary. Fine. Won’t it be fine if we run
head foremost into the wharf, and sink, to be sealed up in this blue
jewel here!”
He tried to pat the bay with his hand.
“Closed in the heart of it,” said the suffragette, “like flies in
amber.”
“I shouldn’t like it at all,” sniffed Courtesy.
“Not like flies in amber,” said the gardener. “Because flies spoil the
amber.”
“Well, you and I wouldn’t exactly decorate the sea,” remarked the
suffragette.
“Look at those cannibals waiting for us,” said Courtesy. “My dears, I’m
simply terrified.”
The cannibals received them from the launch with the proverbial
eagerness of cannibals. In the first three minutes of their arrival on
land the travellers could have bought enough goods to furnish several
bazaars had they been so inclined. The suffragette, by tickling the chin
of a superb blue and yellow bird, was considered to have tacitly
concluded a bargain with the owner as to the possession of it, and there
was much discussion before she was disembarrassed of her unwelcome
protégé. The gardener bought two walking-sticks in the excitement of the
moment, before he remembered that he was devoid of money. The owner of
the walking-sticks, however, kindly reminded him of the one-sidedness of
the purchase, and he was obliged to borrow from the suffragette.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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