If Winter Don't: A.B.C.D.E.F. NotsomuchinsonPain, Barry
General
If Winter Don't: A.B.C.D.E.F. Notsomuchinson
Pain, Barry
Hutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth), 1880-1971. If winter comes; Parodies
"Yes, sir. Good morning," said Sharper.
Diggle went on writing for a minute in silence, and then said
drearily: "Well, what is it?"
"Please can I have that partnership now?" asked Sharper.
"Not to-day. Don't fidget with your hands. Keep your ears quiet, if
possible. Close the door gently as you go out."
Luke went gloomily back to his own room. He had not done himself
justice. He never did do himself justice with Diggle. Diggle made him
feel as if he were fifteen.
But thoughts of Diggle did not long occupy his mind. Once more he
seemed to be standing in the road, with the warm fragrance of petrol
and lubricating oil playing on his face. Once more he saw her.
Jona.
Some would have hesitated to call her beautiful. To Luke she was all
the beauty in the world. Concentrated. At one time Jona had had the
chance of marrying him, but apparently she did not know a good thing
when she saw it. Tyburn had the title and the property, and was
better-looking and more amusing, and had stationary ears. But had he
the character of a child martyr? He had not. Now Luke was great at
martyrdom; also at childishness.
For nearly an hour Luke sat with his manuscript before him. He was
writing another elegant little brochure. This one dealt with the
jam-pots of Ancient Assyria. During that hour he did not write one
single word, but thought continuously of Jona.
He pulled himself up abruptly. Why, he was married to Mabel. Of
course, he was. It was just as if he could not trust his memory for
anything these days. He had been rather rude to Mabel at breakfast.
Well, not rude exactly, but not friendly. Mrs. Smith had a sable
stole. He ought to have said something about it. He must try at once
to think of something that would be said about a sable stole.
He must make it up to Mabel in some way. What could he give her? He
could give her more of his society. He would stop work, go back to her
at once, and be just as nice as nice could be.
He put on his hat, and met Diggle in the passage.
"Where are you going?" said Diggle.
"I was going home, sir," said Luke, "I'm not very well this morning."
(For a Christian martyr he certainly did lie like sin.)
"Don't let it occur again," said Diggle.
He encountered Mabel in the hall of his house. She had a letter in her
hand. She seemed surprised to see him, and very far from pleased.
"What in goodness are you here for?" she said. "Forgotten something?"
He set his teeth. In spite of discouragement, he was going to be very
nice indeed.
"I am afraid," he said, "I rather forgot my manners at breakfast this
morning. Sorry."
"I didn't notice they were any worse than usual. You surely didn't
come back to say that?"
"Oh, no. I thought we'd take a holiday together. Like old times, what?
We'll go for a nice long walk, and take a packet of sandwiches
and----"
"Oh, don't be silly. I can't possibly go out. Probably Mr. Doom
Dagshaw is coming to lunch."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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