future were provided for--of course also by God; but through Josephine.
In his eyes she was the cleverest, most beautiful and healthiest girl
not only in the town but in the whole country, and she was very rich.
This last must be taken into consideration too; as a small boy he had
been an ambitious dreamer, but now his dreams had a different bent.
His fellow-students knew all about it; as well as Melancthon, they
called him the "bishop-theme from the bay," or the "bay bishop." He had
got accustomed to this, it was almost a necessity for him; there was
something child-like in his smiling trustfulness that suited him well;
then he was so handsome, with his fair, open face; and when that is the
case it is quite excusable to be ambitious.
Now he felt that he had been hurled down from his secure and pleasant
height! Anyone who having been safe and secure, for the first time is
thoroughly defeated, feels so completely out of it all. The worst of
this was that Josephine did not appear to wish to have anything to do
with him; he looked repeatedly across to her, but she went on arranging
her flowers and grass just as if he did not exist.
At last it was exactly as though they all had glided away and he too
were no longer there. He sat without seeming to sit, heard without
hearing, saw without seeing. The supper was being got ready up before
the house; they all went up there as soon as the table was laid; they
ate, they drank, they laughed and made merry; but he was not with them,
he stood there staring out across the bay--far, far away. A young man,
clerk in some business, spoke to him about the routes of the different
steamers and how badly they were managed; a girl with crooked teeth,
red hair in plaits and a freckled face (he had formerly been her
master), assured him that sailors were by no means so well educated as
one might expect from people who travelled so much. The hostess came
and asked how it was he would not eat anything, and the host took wine
with him; in doing so they showed him the usual respect; but both of
them cast a hurried, searching glance at his eyes, which made him
tremble. He felt they doubted. In his ceaseless and ever-increasing
pain, he saw nothing but doubt and scorn on every side, even in the
fact of the general merriment. Edward Kallem was especially full of fun
and they all collected round him. It was in his honor too (he had come
home a fortnight ago) that the expedition had been got up. As in a
dream, Ole saw that Josephine's flowers had been placed on the table,
and he heard how everyone praised the blending of their colors; she
herself was sitting at a little stone table with two girl friends--was
that to prevent his joining her? There was much noise and fun going on
at the other side. He saw her talking and laughing, all the young men
waiting upon her; Edward joined them several times; he made them laugh
too. Ole noticed all this with a strange feeling of fear. The noise
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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