His having kept this great news for the last, having had such a card up
his sleeve and not floated it out in the current of his chatter and the
luxury of their leisure, was one of those incalculable strokes by which
he could still affect her; the kind of thing that reminded her of the
latent force that had ejected the drunken soldier—an example of the
profundity of which his promotion was the proof. She listened a while
in silence, on this occasion, to the wafted strains of the music; she
took it in as she had not quite done before that her future was now
constituted. Mr. Mudge was distinctly her fate; yet at this moment she
turned her face quite away from him, showing him so long a mere quarter
of her cheek that she at last again heard his voice. He couldn’t see a
pair of tears that were partly the reason of her delay to give him the
assurance he required; but he expressed at a venture the hope that she
had had her fill of Cocker’s.
She was finally able to turn back. “Oh quite. There’s nothing going on.
No one comes but the Americans at Thrupp’s, and _they_ don’t do much.
They don’t seem to have a secret in the world.”
“Then the extraordinary reason you’ve been giving me for holding on
there has ceased to work?”
She thought a moment. “Yes, that one. I’ve seen the thing through—I’ve
got them all in my pocket.”
“So you’re ready to come?”
For a little again she made no answer. “No, not yet, all the same. I’ve
still got a reason—a different one.”
He looked her all over as if it might have been something she kept in
her mouth or her glove or under her jacket—something she was even
sitting upon. “Well, I’ll have it, please.”
“I went out the other night and sat in the Park with a gentleman,” she
said at last.
Nothing was ever seen like his confidence in her and she wondered a
little now why it didn’t irritate her. It only gave her ease and space,
as she felt, for telling him the whole truth that no one knew. It had
arrived at present at her really wanting to do that, and yet to do it
not in the least for Mr. Mudge, but altogether and only for herself.
This truth filled out for her there the whole experience about to
relinquish, suffused and coloured it as a picture that she should keep
and that, describe it as she might, no one but herself would ever
really see. Moreover she had no desire whatever to make Mr. Mudge
jealous; there would be no amusement in it, for the amusement she had
lately known had spoiled her for lower pleasures. There were even no
materials for it. The odd thing was how she never doubted that,
properly handled, his passion was poisonable; what had happened was
that he had cannily selected a partner with no poison to distil. She
read then and there that she should never interest herself in anybody
as to whom some other sentiment, some superior view, wouldn’t be sure
to interfere for him with jealousy. “And what did you get out of that?”
he asked with a concern that was not in the least for his honour.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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